2011 Draft Order and Potential Changes

Just for the sake of clarity, I would like to make a post detailing the 2011 draft order, which is based on final regular season standings:

1. Everett
2. Taylor
3. John
4. Brandon
5. Jason
6. Scott
7. Ben
8. Tyler
9. Jim
10. Steve

In addition to excitement of knowing the draft order, I wanted to go ahead and bring up a couple of issues that I believe should be discussed in the offseason. I think the new waiver wire setup worked well, but if anyone has ideas on how to improve that, those would most certainly be welcome. My issue this year is with the trade deadline. We can make trades during the entire offseason, but we cut off the ability to make trades coming down the stretch for playoff pushes. I think we can either completely remove the trade deadline or at least make the playoffs the only time when trades are not allowable. With the limited ability to make pickups due to the waiver set up, trades are really the only way you have control over how to improve your team down the stretch. Plus it’s exciting to try to come up with crafty trade scenarios, so the trade deadline removes some of the fun from the season. What say you, pirate gents?

My second issue is that we need to set up the league to make sure the championship is in Week 16. This Week 17 setup is no good because nobody goes with a full strength roster in Week 17. It’s like having the championship during an unpredictable bye week. The method of changing that setup is up to debate, but we need to ensure that Week 16 is the week that decides the league champion. I know that change only affects Taylor and one other person each season, but it’s still important to get it right. Thoughts?

Live Updates from UPG Playoff Party

Suday 1:30 PM
Greetings to the losers!
Winners are all here having a good time at the Chip and Dip Fiesta for the Playoff Teams of the UPG. We are having some of the best dips I've ever had, some of the best tasting beers that have ever graced my lips.

Some of the decisions we are discussing this year for the league:
1. Whether Tyler is allowed to be in league next year.
The problem is that this is a wonderful league, and in just about any other league Tyler's team could just fly under the radar. In our league it's an eyesore, though. It's the abandoned house in your neighborhood with broken windows. The children talk about how it's haunted, and nobody goes near it during Halloween. If we can condemn that house, maybe it's the humane thing to do.
2. Voting on Tyler's worst rejected trade opportunity.
This should be a fun game, and I encourage everyone to submit players that Tyler decided were not quite "Stabbing Robot material"
3. Will we allow Tyler to remained married to Amy? Who will we decide to be her new, better mate?
Amy's a great girl. We all love her. It's pretty inconvenient that we may have to find a replacement team to fill the void left behind by Tyler. We really don't want to find another cool girl to spend time with us. There is too much risk involved with hookers and strangers. I don't want Amy to have to be alone, so I think the best approach is to nominate the guy who would be able to take good care of her (no offense, Tyler, none of this is personal)

Now I'm going to jump off my roof before Manningham scores another TD on my bench.

What Needs to Happen

With the last week of the regular season approaching, two playoff spots remain open for four potential teams. Here is what each team needs to happen in Week 13 to clinch a spot in the playoffs.

Brandon
- Win

- Lose, and Scott and Ben lose but Brandon does not get outscored by Ben by more than two points. (Brandon owns tiebreaker against Ben).

- Lose, and Scott wins, Ben loses and does not lose by more than seven. (Tyler would own tiebreaker against Brandon).

Ben
- Win

- Lose, and Scott and Tyler lose.

- Lose, and Brandon loses, and not get outscored by Tyler by more than six. (Ben owns tiebreaker against Tyler).

- Lose, Brandon and Scott lose, and outscores Brandon by more than two points. (see tiebreaker scenario above).

Scott
- Win, and either Brandon or Ben lose.

Tyler
- Win, and Ben and Scott lose.

- Win, and Ben loses, and Tyler outscores Ben by more than six. (see tiebreaker scenario above).

Let me know if I've missed a potential scenario.

I Have A Boner

Guys,

It's been awhile since someone has posted on the blog so I figured I would take this opportunity to share an opinion with everyone. I have a hard-on for the fact that our league is so bunched up this year. The races for playoff spots are very tight right now, and I love it.

I have never thought it is entertaining when a team in whatever sports dominates the league in which it competes. The Yankees clinching the AL East before the All-Star break, Manchester United or Chelsea running away with the EPL (for Taylor), or Zenyatta winning a horse race before she is even led up to the starting gate. We need competition and this league was built on competition, whether it be personal or just trying to ensure one person doesn't get that key player off of waivers (no particular situation in mind).

It is like the NFL in many ways - until recently, there has been a different dominant team each week. John has clinched a playoff spot, and my hat goes off to him. With that said, I am in the thick of this race for a playoff spot along with several others. Whatever happens, I have enjoyed this season more than ones in the past and I wish everyone the best of luck either playing in the postseason or watching others play for our coveted prize.

Week 12 Coaching Comparisons

Everett - Bill Belicheck

The most dominant manager in the game today. Like Billy, Everett finds ways to get great performances out of everyone on his roster. He makes smart waiver wire moves, is strong and deep at every position, builds a structure for his guys to operate within, and lets them make plays. A master of playing the odds, as injuries or other circumstances arise, Everett simply inserts someone else into that spot and expects them to perform, and perform they do. (See Manning, Eli)

Ben - Raheem Morris

Consistently really good, but yet to have a "Wow-let's-take-notice-of-this-team-as-a-real-contender" week. Exceeding any expectations fans may have had for this team after a rocky beginning. Ben got out of the gates quick, when some thought it would fade, he continued to win.

Jason - Rex Ryan

Loveable, boisterous, and supremely confident in his team. Like Rex, Jason's team seems to feed off his belief in them, even when others might not. He finds a way to get production out of a group of wide receivers many of us placed as the worst in the league in the early season. He has gotten moderate, but consistent play out of his quarterback and has been able to win despite some low offensive numbers. Without the size of Rex, Jason still manages to be the most polarizing head coach in the league. Some love him, some hate him. But most consider it a compliment to his personality he is loved at all considering how much he wins.

Brandon - Mike McCarthy

Dangerous every week you play them, but seem to fade towards the end of the season, and especially the playoffs. Brandon's lack of success can't really be attributed to injuries or other circumstances, but more the improvement of other teams in the league. Brandon's teams seem to go from good to mediocre by seasons end by virtue of the top teams each year becoming better through trades and waiver wire transactions.

John - Tony Sparano

Constant criticism from fans over recent coaching decisions. Holes at quarterback and tight end, and a stagnant running game most weeks. John has left his best player on the bench more than once, forgotten to play kickers, and has cut productive tight ends in consecutive weeks. Has managed to stay in the playoff hunt, but his team is off the tracks and people question whether he has the fortitude to get it back.

Scott - Brad Childress

Should have been fired three weeks ago. After a tough stretch of losses, Scott hit the panic button, then pulled the panic cord, then ate some panic breakfast, and topped it all off by snorting some panic cocaine. Unlike Childress though, Scott seems perfectly willing to place the fate of his team in Peterson's hands, which for once seem to be holding on to the football. The problem is that Peterson doesn't get a chance to protect any leads by running the ball.

Tyler - Wade Phillips/Jason Garrett

Totally incompetent through the first nine weeks of the season, then turns it on in the past two weeks. Yes, Tyler is on a four game winning streak and still out of the playoffs, but he has strung together some nice games, and looks like he could be a force if he makes the playoffs. Like the cowboys, he relies too heavily on running back committees, but Tyler has seriously dangerous wide receivers and if Roethlisberger and Kitna continue to sling it, his quarterback and wide receivers may be enough to put him in the playoffs for the first time.

Jimmy - Marvin Lewis

Inept, unable to score, and unable to stop people from scoring. It's been a nightmare season for Jim, who many expected to ride his wide receivers to the playoffs. But his receivers have disappointed, and his running game is non existent. A nightmare season that looks to only get worse. Lot of questions to answer in the offseason.

Steve - Mike Singletary

Tons of talent that often produces, but never seems to be enough. In many ways Steve's tought season has been a victim of circumstance. Incredibly high scores each week were put up against him. He sacrificed depth early in the season to snag a top running back, but his team has suffered ever since. A recent injury to star player Hakeem Nicks is indicative of the negative karma surrounding Tehom. However, he has the pieces for the future, and simply has to urge his guys to finish this season strong and find something positive to build on for next year.

Players who won't be drafted as high next year

Matt Forte
Beanie Wells
Shonn Greene
DeAngelo Williams
Jonathan Stewart
Matt Schaub
Mike Sims-Walker
Aromashadu (I can't even remember his first name he's so far off the map)
Kevin Kolb
Miles Austin
Randy Moss
Steve Smith (both)
Donald Driver
Cedric Benson
Chad Ochocinco
Marques Colston
Pierre Thomas
CJ Spiller

Players who will be drafted much higher next year

Mike Vick
Josh Freeman
Sam Bradford
Kyle Orton
Phillip Rivers
Ryan Fitzpatrick
Hakeem Nicks
Dez Bryant
Brandon Lloyd
Steve Johnson
Kenny Britt
Terrell Owens
Mike Wallace
Mike Williams (both)
Austin Collie
Arian Foster
LaGarrette Blount
LeSean McCoy
Ahmad Bradshaw
Peyton Hillis
Marshawn Lynch
Darren McFadden
Brandon Pettigrew
Tony Moeaki

Stafford's Durability

Man he's a pussy.  Here's a quote from Schwartz:
"I don't question his durability at all," Schwartz said. "He hasn't been able to play as much as he'd like to play, but he hasn't been hampered by hangnails or, you know, headaches or anything like that. He's been hit by 290-pound guys going full speed."
Does this latest injury look like he was hit by a 280 pound guy going full speed: Stafford fall?
I have never seen any NFL player be lost for the rest of the season from such an innocuous play. The Peppers' play was legit, and he's a beast, but this?  Poor Megatron. Poor Pantywaists.  What have I done to spite thee Fantasy Football Gods?

The Tom Landry Hat Goes to.....

I was tempted not to award the Tom Landry Hat to anyone this week. I think the fact that Kenny Britt wasn't even sitting on any of our benches makes all of us somewhat culpable on poor management fronts this week. Others simply mailed/vomited it in (John). But then last night happened, and Bilbo pushed all his Baggins to the middle of the table. I felt pretty good about a 38 point lead and Everett only having Green Bay's D and Eli left. I mean the Giants and Packers faced the two pre-eminent "Backs Against the Wall" teams, so you knew those matchups would be tough. Nay, nay, gentlemen. Everett got a dynamite performance from Eli, leading him to a 114-113 win. Yes, he Milton Berled my Milton Berles. He also reanimated the corpse of Dwayne Bowe, getting a solid 20 out of him. Everett played the slow roll to perfection, essentially giving Chris Johnson a bye (a mere 6 points from CJ...18 below his projection). I was all excited about Michael Turner starting a new era, but I was a fool. The Tom Landry Hat is yours, Everett. Wear it well.

In lesser news, I got a great performance from the Washington Defense. Some of you may think that it was just another example of my tremendous foresight. I must admit to you, however, that I was excited when I awoke last Wednesday, and scurried down the stairs to pick up Denver's D to play against the hapless Raiders. I was all upset when I saw that Steve beat me to the punch, so I settled on Washington, hoping that maybe Cutler could keep sucking a little bit longer. Steve got negative points from Denver and I got 26 from the Skins. Even former champions like myself know that it's always better to be lucky than good.

Booms and Busts

Although the season is barely half over, I think it would be interesting to take a look at some excellent value obtained in the draft and on the waiver wire.  The busts have really not had a super large effect, and all, save Ryan Grant and Jermichael Finley, still have a chance of redemption.  I can't classify anyone a bust that was drafted later than the first 50 picks. Without further ado:

The Busts (in draft order):

Ryan Mathews (31 pts)
Maurice Jones-Drew (58 pts)
DeAngelo Williams (39 pts) 'bye'
Ryant Grant (4 pts) 
Shonn Greene (35 pts)
Randy Moss (48 pts)
Michael Turner (58 pts)
Marques Colston (31 pts)
Beanie Wells (11 pts) 'bye'
Pierre Thomas (32 pts)
Larry Fitzgerald (40 pts) 'bye'
Ronnie Brown (36 pts) 'bye'
Jonathan Stewart (27 pts) 'bye'
Knowshon Moreno (31 pts)
Jermichael Finley (38 pts)
Steve Smith/CAR (28 pts) 'bye'
Clinton Portis (33 pts)
Steve Smith/NYG (43 pts)
C.J. Spiller (21 pts) 'bye'


Keep in mind that some of these guys have played one less game than others as indicated by 'bye'. I have factored this in for both lists seen here.


Amazing Value (by points scored):
Philip Rivers (139 pts/5th rd)
Peyton Manning (139 pts/3rd rd)
Arian Foster (130 pts/4th rd)
Kyle Orton (126 pts/undrafted)
Tony Romo (112 pts/4th rd) 'bye'
Matt Forte (97 pts/5th rd)
LeSean McCoy (94 pts/5th rd)
Antonio Gates (92 pts/5th rd)
Brandon Lloyd (92 pts/undrafted)
Austin Collie (91 pts/undrafted)
LaDanian Tomlinson (87 pts/8th rd)
Rashard Mendenhall (83 pts/3rd rd) 'bye'
Peyton Hillis (82 pts/undrafted)
Jeremy Maclin (80 pts/6th rd)
Hakeem Nicks (79 pts/8th rd)
Ahmad Bradshaw (78 pts/8th rd)
Pittsburgh D (75 pts/15th rd) 'bye'
Terrell Owens (70 pts/9th rd)
Darren McFadden (67 pts/8th rd)

As reference, I will list the player projected pre-draft to be the number one player at that position:
RB: Chris Johnson (108 pts/1st rd)
WR: Andre Johnson (65 pts/1st rd)
QB: Aaron Rodgers (124 pts/2nd rd)
TE: Antonio Gates (92 pts/5th rd)
DEF: NY Jets (57/8th rd) [Note: 49ers were project #1 by Yahoo (38 pts\11th rd) 

Aha! Now I see my problem. I have one player on the good list and three on the bad one.  At least Jason has to answer for Turner from now on.  I'm sure he'll be the highest scoring RB over the last half of the season now.

Premier of the Tom Landry Hat Award

If I have time, I’ll endeavor to make this a weekly post whether you guys like it or not. I thought it would be fun to recognize a manager of the week by awarding him the ceremonial Tom Landry Hat. The award system is completely subjective and susceptible to political pressure, just like the Oscars. Without further ado, our first winner is Ben.

Sure the old rule of thumb is to start anyone you have who is going against the Lions, but Ben had to trust that Brandon Jacobs could avoid being a buffoon, not get hurt, and actually touch the ball enough to make an impact. He went to Bradshaw and Jacobs as a tandem against Detroit, and those two delivered a combined 31 points.

Ben also had to sit Larry Fitzgerald, something he surely wasn’t excited about doing, and started Mike Wallace, who delivered another solid performance with 15 points. Taylor gets a tip of the cap for finalizing a trade that let him keep Ray Rice for one more week and he made a great choice by starting Tennessee’s Defense, which netted 17 points. Nonetheless, this week’s Tom Landry hat goes to Ben. Enjoy.

The Blockbuster

If any of you have checked your emails lately, you have surely seen the blockbuster trade just agreed to by Steve and myself. (Someone send Tyler a text so he knows about it) Let me tell you all something about an eight player trade: it gets you hard (booooooing!). I'm so turned on right now I can barely type this sentence, or blink for that matter. Although I'm enjoying this high, all I can think about is the next score. I want a three-team trade. I want a two-team trade that involves draft rights for next year. Let me calm down.

In total, eight players will be changing teams. White Death has traded Ray "I hardly knew ya" Rice, Steve Smith (NY), Cadillac "Glass Knees" Williams, and Kevin Walter to Tehom in exchange for Peyton Hillis, Brandon Lloyd, Joseph Addai, and Steve Smith (Car), who will get nicknames, security clearance, and a White Death cheerleader upon passing their physicals.

In parting, let me say this to Ray Rice:

Ray, we love you. You are a great player who did nothing but represent this dynasty franchise with the class, grace, and style of a Jackie Onassis. We were forced to make a decision for the immediacy of this season, and unfortunately you were the cost. It is always difficult to look a person in the eye and tell them you will no longer win a championship this season, but Ray, you will no longer win a championship this season. However, we hope in the future we have the opportunity to work with you again. You will be missed.

-White Death

The Milton Berle Method

Hollywood legend Milton Berle was allegedly somewhat notorious for his prominent male member. A popular tale told within elite circles of society is that once, while at a party, a young upstart approached Berle. He explained that he’d heard of Berle’s well-endowment, but that he doubted that Berle could measure up to him. Berle accepted the challenge and each man unzipped his pants and revealed themselves to witnesses. Berle won, but it was close. One of Berle’s friends pointed out that very little separated the two competitors. Berle retorted, “I only pulled out enough to win.”

After two victories with the second lowest point totals during the week, I am affectionately nicknaming my squad the "Milton Berles." I’m not formally changing the name—you don’t do that when you’re miraculously 4-1. You just appreciate what’s happening and hope that all your good luck isn’t wasted on the first month of the season. All that said, I feel like the Double Rainbows are just about due for a week where we score 130…and lose.

Brett Favre does not have a pretty cock.

That is all.

Congrats to Our Beloved Commish

I would just like to take this post to congratulate Tyler on his 8-point (and maybe more) victory against the Cream Team this afternoon. I was hoping deep down that Rivers and the Chargers D would be able to revive my chances, or that the Titans would let Rob Bironas attempt 60-yard FGs rather than punting for the hell of it...but it was not to be.

That being said, I think we can all admit that Tyler earned this victory. He has had some bad luck in the past with some close losses, but his team showed its capability this week. Tyler, I will be the first to wish you the best of luck and never forget what victory tastes like. Remember this moment and build on it.

Just so everyone knows, let me reiterate...I DID NOT LOSE THIS MATCHUP...Tyler's team just overachieved a little more than mine. But seriously, great job Tyler.

First Post

The blog has been slow lately, so I decided to post my first post (which sounds like a double negative).

Discuss..

Hello, Seattle

Although there were more enticing places for Beast Mode to land, we here at Killing Horizon are happy to announce that the Seattle Seahawks have acquired Mr. Lynch's services.
Didn't Tyler just trade two players to get Forsett?  The fantasy gods have struck our friend again.

Finally, the second championship

Over the past two years it has become customary for the champion to accept his championship through a formal statement on this blog. That is exactly what I intend to do now.

First, I'm deeply humbled to stand before you as league champion. If I told you I didn't think I would be back on top, I'd be lying. So I'm not going to tell you that. The truth is - I always knew I would be back on top. Because I'm cream. Creamier than Brandon.

This was a fantastic season, and it wouldn't have been possible without all of you, my children. It was your passion, grit, and determination that I will remember the most from this season. And the large trophy.

Finally, I want to thank the Kansas City Chiefs, who knocked six of you out of the game in week one. I would also like to thank Tyler for failing to make a pick in week three and forfeiting a chance at the championship. This large, proud trophy would mean little to me if it were not won in your presence. Until next year,

Taylor (Gentlemen's Game Survivor League Champion!!!!!!!!!)

Revenge

I'm not going to lie. I might have mentioned to my team this past week that Taylor removed my name from the trophy in the preseason.  I didn't want to do it, but I felt like I couldn't let that little bit of bulletin board material just sit there.  Peterson, in particular, did not take that news well. We've been through a lot together.
In other news, is Tyler going to win a game this year? 

Put your waiver claims in NOW!

This is a breaking news update: Trent Edwards has been officially cut from the Bills.
I saw this headline and thought, "Who gives a shit?"

Catch 22

To my reluctant followers,

In a god's honest effort to stay your sole undefeated I make this proposal to you all.
The mustache stays if my weekly opponent allows me to choose their lineup.
So, James Carl Cuatro has a conundrum. I know you want to win, but I also know you would like to laugh at the fact that I have a mustache for a week.
If you all want the mustache to stay convince James Hova to allow me to pick his line-up. If he does, then I will live my life like I have always wanted - with mustache.


So if you all want this to happen, work on it now because I don't want to go to work tomorrow with this embarrassment on my face with no reward.

King S#!& of F^@% Mountain

I've made it to the top, figuratively.
I never knew how awesome it was to completely stand alone as the best until now. In no other arena of life have I ever stood completely alone as the best. Never did I think I would be excited about winning in our league, but when it hits you, it really hits you. Taylor, Jason, Scott, am I right? I mean it is a feeling like no other. I guess this means I am in on the secret emails.
Monday Night Football has become my new favorite thing. My new favorite thing to get blitzed to while I crush all opposition. Those are beers filled with elation, wine stuff with the desire to win and (not pictured here) oatmeal with ground flaxseed that gives me the foresight to pick the very best team in the league.
Let this photo act as a reminder to you all that this is the pillar of your Gentlemen's League; the shining light atop your pedestal of fantasy football. When you talk about your league to people outside of our circle of friends just remember, this is your leader, your forerunner, your shepard. This is the result of all of your hard work in the off season - all of your planning, your trades, all of your sweat and tears resulted in this.
- Your one and only undefeated team in the UPG

Great Week

If you missed out on the excitement that went down on Monday night, I'm sorry.  Everett's come-from-behind victory was superb.  Jason's was as well.  Taylor lost a close one.  The league standings will come out tomorrow with John in sole possession of first place and Tyler in sole possession of last place.  Everyone else is 1-1. 

Brandon Jackson Heads Week 1 Waiver Wire Pickups

Oooh la la. Our first week of waiver wire transactions was full of excitement. Tyler made the pickup of the week by landing Brandon Jackson, whose value increased by tenfold with the news of Ryan Grant's season-ending ankle injury. Taylor added Legedu Naanee, who is very black. Everett got Austin Collie, who is very white. Brandon scooped of a potentially revitalized Eddie Royal. The rest of us got nothing. The Ryan Grant injury is a huge blow to John's squad, especially because Tyler was only one spot ahead of John on the waiver wire, so John was very close to being able to get Jackson as a potential replacement. Now he has to start grovelling to the running back aristocrats to try to obtain someone. In other news, Tyler also gets a grand tip of the cap for deciding not to keep Greene and Grant. Wow, that would be a terrible week for two keepers. Even worse when you think about what Miles Austin did on Sunday.

Championship Hangover

Killing Horizon was resting on laurels after the championship last year.  This all starts with the coach.  We thought, "Oh, we've got Peterson and Turner, we'll be fine.  We don't need pre-season work.  We can miss OTA's.  We can miss a few days of camp.  We don't need to develop chemistry with this level of talent."  Now we know we were wrong. 
Well, this falls on the coach.  We were sloppy this week.  This should serve as a wake-up call. Just because we were #1 last year means nothing this year. Let me just tell you now, this week will not be a pleasant week of practice...I'm going Singletary on these bitches.
As an aside, that Survivor league sure was fun. 

There goes my productivity

I'm as busy as I have ever been, and my addiction to football is killing me.  This fantasy business is a dangerous drug. 
Enough moaning, let me mention a few surprises from the first week of football thus far. 
1. That Thursday game sucked.  I couldn't believe how boring it was after the first series by New Orleans.
2. I was really surprised by the lack of output by some of the biggest names: Brees, Rodgers, Peterson (under-utilized), Turner (obviously Pitt's D is good again), Gore (What the hell?), Jones-Drew (They really do appear to be trying to to lighten his load), Andre Johnson, CJ Spiller (I know he's not a top guy, but 0 points?), Matt Schaub, the entire Carolina run game, Calvin Johnson (I'm sure you've seen the bullshit over-turned TD by now). 
3. You'll notice two of the more prolific Texans are on the above list even though they put up a ton of points.  Will Arian Foster's emergence lead to a decrease in the Texan's pass production?  Certainly the Texans seem content to run the ball when protecting a lead, which they will probably have a lot this season.  On the flip side, will they run Foster into the ground?  He certainly can't carry the ball 33 times for 16 games.
4. It's not that Rodgers had a terrible game, but he was not as amazing as we all probably thought he'd be.  Again, the Packers seemed to be content to shorten the game with the run, even if it wasn't particularly effective.  That makes the Saints, Texans, and Packers three prolific passing teams that had sub-par weeks from their QB's for essentially the same reason: once they had the lead, they were content to rely on the run and their defense to protect it.  I'm not saying this isn't intelligent, but it is maddening for fantasy folk.
5. Another maddening feature of these offenses is that they have too many options in the passing game.  The highest scoring wide receiver on the Texans? Kevin Walter. The Colts? Austin Collie. The Saints? Devery Henderson. At least for Taylor's sake, Greg Jennings was productive.   

Best Quote of the Day

"You think I'm stupid, aren't you?"
-Brandon Jacobs

One More Day

The day we thought would never come is almost here, my friends.  I know you're all hoping, as am I, for an all-world performance from Adrian Peterson tomorrow night.  I texted him this morning and he told me he's going to, "bring the pain to the tune of 200 total yards and 4 TDs." I hope he's not joshing.  

The Double Rainbows

You may have noticed that I changed my team name from Avatar Depression to The Double Rainbows. There were a few reasons behind this change, and you all deserve to know the story. Avatar Depression was a fine name, but it would have been subpar without the picture of Tyler at the height of his Avatar Depression. I just don't feel like I can go into the season with the word "depression" as part of my team's name. Looking for the opposite of depression? Look no further than Double Rainbow Guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

Don't worry, Double Rainbow Guy is work appropriate, and he's almost as excited about rainbows as I am about the upcoming fantasy season. I was tentative about making the change, but the Admiral endorsed it, as long as I kept the picture of Tyler, so here we are. To catch up you gents on the happenings from the weekend, please allow me to provide a brief rundown:

The sod field football game was short-lived due to the time everyone arrived and the awkward kickoff time for the UK-UofL game. Steve had the play of the day with a dazzling Reggie Bush-esque scamper that led to a tie (I know, ties are gross, but we couldn't afford to miss any of Cobb or Locke's heroics. Once we saw Cobb's one-handed catch, there was really no point in embarrassing ourselves by playing more football later in the day). It was a proud showing by the Older Guys as Ben, Steve, and I considered the tie to be very very close to a win.

There were rumblings of a three-team trade, but nothing came to fruition...yet.

Highs and Lows: The Admiral learned to play poker and did his best Phil Ivey impersonation for the weekend. Only time will tell if that overshadows an unfortunate incident in which he brought Ben Eaton to his knees after celebrating a TD by tossing a football below Ben Eaton's belt. I'll vouch for the Admiral that I do not believe he intended to inflict such harm, but the damage was done. In a weird karmic kind of way, that actually evened things out from when the Admiral purposely took a football to the groin, and Ben Eaton threw a football at John's new ride earlier in the day.

In an "epic fail" I bought a rope that I intended to use for adrenaline-rushing swings high over a hillside. When we couldn't find any good branches, we settled on tying it to a tree for a climbing contest. Hand blisters won the short-lived contest.

We commenced planning to hunt a rumored monster that lives somewhere in Fisherville, Kentucky.

Other than the aforementioned adventures, the vast majority of our time was spent indulging in food, drink, pool, and sun. Great success! Everyone should be feeling refreshed and ready for the upcoming weekend.

White Death Depth Chart

After four days of practice, I'm happy with the energy and tempo of this team. I realize the media attention surrounding the White Death organization and understand our fans' desire for some information.

Aaron has continued to progress on and off the field. His role as a leader on this team has increased throughout the preseason. He sets the example for the amount of work we expect our players to put in to prepare each week. He is fully healthy and we expect great things from him this year.

Ray and Arian will be our starting tailbacks. In Ray we see an explosive, hard-nosed runner who also possesses a great set of hands in the passing game. Arian is a well-rounded football player who simply does everything we ask of him. Marion, Tim, and Cadillac are in a competition for the flex RB position each week. We've been impressed by all three guys and most weeks we will likely just go with the hot hand.

Greg will be our number one guy at wide receiver. He and Aaron have developed incredible chemistry and they are in really good rythym at the moment. Greg is a burner on deep routes but is also a tremendous receiver across the middle. Steve will be starting at the number two spot. He's a reliable third down guy who has incredible hands and is an underrated red zone target. Aromashodu will work out of the slot, and we expect him to contribute immediately from the flex. Santana is our 4th receiver and should also contribute. Finally, Jacoby is 5th, but we see him as a potential starter in this league.

Vernon Davis is starting at tight end and has been named team captain, along with Aaron. Vernon has been a tremendous asset to this team since putting on a White Death uniform and we expect to fully utilize him in the passing game. We've pulled Owen off the PUP list and he has been fully practicing since Monday. Physically he's where he needs to be, but he is still learning the offense and trying to find that chemistry with Aaron.

Mason Crosby is a kicker.

Yahoo's New Weekly Projections

Seriously, Yahoo?  We are now projecting player's weekly performance to the hundredth of a point?  Maybe it's my engineering degree talking here, but, last I checked, Yahoo wasn't even good enough to predict to the nearest point, much less hundredth of a point.  This implies that there is high accuracy and precision, of which there is actually neither.

Kicker Points Vote

As a gesture of goodwill, since we have had a little argument about even including kickers already and the vote was 50:50, I suggest we lessen the possible contribution of kickers each week.
 
I think something where kickers make 1 point for point-afters, 1 point for kicks 30 and under, 2 points for 30 to fifty, and 3 points for kicks over fifty would be a more reasonable scoring system.

Currently, the scoring is:
1 Point for PAT
3 Points for 0-40 yards
4 Points for 40-50
and 5 Points for >50

Please vote on the change.

Rosters Posted

Sorry for the delay Gentlemen, but your rosters are now posted and you may begin submitting lineups. As far as I understand, pickups will be a free for all until week one of the season. Scott, please resubmit your kicker vote on points so I can get that settled.

Draft Recap

Today I’ve spent well over an hour reviewing the draft results and telling my paralegal the things she needs to consider when planning our celebration for this Thursday, which obviously is September 2, 2010, aka “90210.” At first I was embarrassed, but then I decided that may be the best hour that anyone gets out of me until Saturday. Unfortunately I’m doing a lot of bluffing because I haven’t seen an episode in well over ten years, but the bluffing is a necessary evil considering my office has pretty much agreed that we will celebrate 90210 in some form. If you all have suggestions, let them rip. Car bombings have been nixed and amazingly, Nat from the Peach Pit is already booked. To the draft….

I don’t feel that today is the day for harsh criticism. Each of our squads has its weaknesses, but here is what I like about the teams:

Scott – best core of running backs complemented by what I rated as the fourth best receiving corps (with room to go up due to high ceilings for Megatron and Floyd) and an elite tight end. Having Bush/Moreno as his flex play is pretty damn scary.

Jason – My receivers are an obvious weakness, but I like having elite guys at QB and TE, and a solid group of RBs that becomes extremely dangerous if Stewart starts getting more touches.

Steve – The Moss-Brady combo pretty much means that in the weeks where Moss gets 2+ TDs, Steve wins. That’s a nice thing to have going on. He also surrounded MJD with dependable, although not flashy RBs. He just needs 8 to 12 out of his non-MJD backs anyway.

Everett – Brings Schaub back for another go, and picks up McCoy as a strong flex back. I like Boldin and Bowe as receivers. Bowe seems primed for a bounce back year. Celek stands to gain a ton of yards, and Winslow falls into that category of “someone has to do something for that offense.”

Brandon – Ronnie Brown is Frank Gore light. He’s going to get hurt, but he’ll be dynamite for the weeks he plays. Steven Jackson, DeAngelo, and Brown all have their warts, but those are three really solid backs, and Mike Bell could be a high upside guy depending on how things shake out in Philly. Seriously, Brandon, this luscious pompadour? Yeah, Bironas’s sister-in-law cuts it. She has had exclusive rights to my haircutting duties privileges since 2000. That’s two years in a row that you’ve decided to take Bironas. Is this a personal thing? You’re making things between us awkward. I was so stunned I didn’t even draft a kicker. How about next year I draft Westbrook and Scott Rolen?

Taylor – No weaknesses on Taylor’s squad, which means he can pick up the best players available off the waiver wire without regard to strengthening a specific position. Jennings and Steve Smith could easily combine for 2,500 yards. Even if they don’t get a ton of touchdowns, A-Rod will. Manchild secures the TE spot.

Ben – Depending on the Vincent Jackson situation, potentially the strongest group of receivers. Talent and depth at QB, so in case Manning drops off a bit, he has Kolb to slide into place. Kolb was also a good defensive move because it makes either Scott, Tyler, or Jim’s team weaker going into Week 1. The Jahvid Best pick had Bill Raftery yelling “onions!” Yeah, Bill Raftery watched our draft, he was at my house. He passed out from too much High Life (or boredom) in the sixth round, though, and agreed that we really need to draft in person in the future.

John – Romo may put up insane numbers this year. Grant and Forte are a nice top two at RB, and McGahee and McFadden figure to be the top two time-share RBs of Irish descent. Reggie Wayne and DeSean Jackson look awfully nice at receiver, and Meachem and Sidney Rice could pay dividends down the road. Witten gets you points every week, and normally that’s all you want from a tight end.

Tyler – really like the core of Charles, Greene, and Pierre Thomas. LT and Felix Jones provide polar opposites off the bench, which I think is a good thing. The Steve Smith curse…heavy lies the crown. However, Miles Austin, Sims-Walker, and Johnny Knox provide stability and potential upside with the WRs.

Jim – Cutler potentially has a great season, and Young’s legs ensure that he gets decent numbers on most weeks. I actually think people have been too down on Portis, and being able to flex him into the lineup with Beanie and Benson makes Jimmy’s backfield more than serviceable. I think he has the best receivers, with Andre Johnson and Brandon Marshall being likely studs, and Ochocinco being a guy that should always get at least 50 yards.

It really looks like everyone did a nice job. Way to go, friends!

Brandon's Computer

Seriously, guys. We need to get Brandon another computer. I'm afraid this one won't make it through the season.

Last Night's Draft

I just wanted to tell you guys how truly unmemorable last night's draft was. Aside from all the Gmail malfunctions, I'd say we can all agree that we should try to avoid drafting online at all costs in the future. We set the bar high last year in Jason't man cave with beer, comraderie, and food. Now we need to maintain that level for years to come so that our league's reputation will not be tarnished.

While attempting to log on and off and on and off again to get my group chat working, I began to daydream about how much more fun it would have been live...


Ben - your heartwarming "I like that pick a lot" phrase would have been enjoyed a lot more in person.

Taylor - your impatience and pure evil would have made you even more of an enemy had we seen it live.

Scott - your draft board software would have been much more appreciated if we had seen it and been able to choose our theme songs (this would have brought so much joy to my face since I would probably choose a Chromeo song or Boyz II Men's "Motownphilly").

Jason - I would have loved seeing you covered in baby piss while drinking High Life from a champagne glass...its sort of a fetish of mine.

Everett - don't you think those hearts would have meant more had you been able to give them out in person?

Jimmy - I can see you now: drafting your team wearing your Kirk Herbstreit jersey, yelling Who Dey after every pick, playing "We Don't Give a Damn for the Whole State of Michigan" as your theme song, wearing a pair of Cincinnati Bengals zubaz pants, all while eating a Skyline 4-way.

John - Jesus, you take forever on picks and take people that have already been selected...but I think I would find this humorous and likable in person rather than how pissed off it makes everyone (esp. Taylor) while voting online.

Tyler - I think next year when we have our live draft I will offer to give you any player on my roster if you can still do 100 push-ups to "In Da Club" by 50 Cent.

Steve - I wish I could see your face when you thought of all the points that could be put up through the Brady-Moss connection...I'm sure you were as giddy as a schoolgirl.


In closing, I want to reiterate that I thoroughly enjoy this great league because it is something I like doing, but also because I get to see all my good buddies that I don't see very often (yes Scott and Everett, we haven't known each other very long, but if you're good enough for Taylor and Jason, you're damn good enough for me).

I hope I never have to go through last night alone again...(tear).

Killing Horizon

I am creating the draft board and thought it time to officially change my name. I have a soft spot for scientific names, and this one sounds cool in addition to being a mathematical concept. The other names I was considering (antimatter annihilation and spinodal decomposition) are longer than 20 characters.

Killing horizon sounds like it involves killing, and it does, Wilhelm Killing to be precise. A Killing horizon is a null hypersurface on which there is a null Killing vector field. I am using it to refer specifically to a black hole's Killing horizon.

What is interesting about a Killing horizon is that it coincides with a black hole's Event Horizon which isn't just a terrible movie. An event horizon (which is a type of Killing Horizon) is the effective edge of a black hole. If you find yourself staring at a Killing horizon, you will see only darkness (much like when you see yourself staring at a matchup with Killing horizon this season). When you reach the killing horizon, you're doomed. You will basically turn into pure energy as you accelerate to the center of the black hole.

Nothing can escape from inside a Killing horizon.

Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land,
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex
J.F.K. blown away...WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY!!

I Don't Know Why But I Feel Like Today Is Gonna Be A Great Day!!

If I was George Costanza, I would stop after the title and picture and go out on a high note, but today I don’t know any better. The aforementioned title and picture provide a microwindow into my state of being for the next ten or so days. After last year’s live draft, beautiful weather, football, food, and drinks, this year’s party has a lot to live up to. The festivities actually went so well last year that until recently I pretty much forgot that shortly after the draft, my house’s water supply mysteriously cut out for about two hours. That would have ruined most good social events, but it barely affected our jovial get together. I really appreciate Neptune’s efforts to get everyone in a great mindset for the post-draft party, and I’m definitely on-board with preparing multiple batches of margaritas. A few notes:

· UK and UofL play early Saturday afternoon. Most of us will want to watch at least part of that game, so plan accordingly to ensure that you will be able to get to Louisville in time for kickoff. For the western Kentucky folks, you may even want to check your route and make sure you won’t have to deal with stadium traffic depending on when you’ll be arriving to town. I haven’t checked the remaining slate for football games, but there should be a ton of great action to check out after the Cats and Cards.

· Because the draft will already be complete, I am planning on starting the day out at my family’s farm. We’ll set up out there for swimming, football, snacks, corn hole, etc. The tentative weather forecast looks good, and hopefully we’re treated to another glorious Labor Day weekend full of outdoor activities. Mandy began preparing her grocery list last night, and we’re accepting any and all suggestions, even from Ben.

· We’re going to play things by ear for the early part of the evening. My guess is that after a few hours of adrenaline-loaded excitement we may need to dial it down a notch or two and get ready for the evening. Or, if Brandon remotely inspires us, we may concur that the “night is young” and keep that pedal to the metal. I’m thinking at some point, we’ll head to my place and either cook out or order a butt load of pizzas. Papa John’s has been running a special on their butt load of pizza deal, so that may be the choice.

· We’ll leave the evening options open-ended. As great as last year was, we kind of faded into the night, so let’s try to pace ourselves better, and not settle for falling asleep while playing Trivial Pursuit or Scene It. There are a couple of watering holes nearby, or we can just pop in a movie/play Rock Band/start a fight club.

· We are an elite, but not exclusive, fantasy football league. Significant others and good friends are welcome to attend. Just disclose in advance that there will be an embarrassing amount of fantasy football talk…they deserve to know that. I think a couple of Mandy’s friends from high school are going to come over, and I may invite some ringers for sod field football (I actually already tried, but he’s going to be out of town).

· We should be able to accommodate just about anyone who wants to spend the night.
· I think we’ll tentatively plan on tipping off around noon or so, but I’m just throwing that out there to give a guidepost. If anyone wants to come earlier, that’s great, just keep me updated on your plans. For everyone coming later, we’ll be excited to see you when you arrive.

· I’ll e-mail directions to the farm in the coming days

· The party will be a week after the draft, so we’ll all be a little settled down from the draft high. Come ready with trade proposals. I love the idea of all of us sitting at a table in a dimly lit room, orchestrating gentlemen’s trades with handshake agreements.

· Taking it a step further than trades, let’s try to put something at stake. A couple of years ago I bet Ben a gallon of Horchata that Vernon Davis would outpoint Alge Crumpler. Even though I won, this was a horrible bet. Vernon finished with like 50 points on the season. Pathetic. But the wager was still fun. We keep money out of this, because we’re not material like that, so think of some wagers you could bring to the table. Somebody needs to finish the season with a mustache or shaved head.

As a parting note, I spoke to Everett recently, and he informed me that his other league changed the format to add a QB/WR/RB/TE flex. There was no vote. A bloodthirsty commissioner simply made the call and subjected the rest of the league to his preferences. That served as a touching reminder that we’re doing something great—nay, transcendental—by participating in this league. When we spill our blood defending our fantasy football ideals and refuse to make changes without giving each man an opportunity to be heard, well, that’s a privilege that I imagine we all take for granted. I respect each of you more than you’ll ever know, and I’m proud to share this foxhole fantasy football league with you. (In my mind, there was an air force fly by at the end of this paragraph)

Bring the input, if this party doesn’t rock, Tyler will go ham on all of you.

Rice out

In case you missed it, Sidney Rice is out for at least half of the season after undergoing hip surgery on Monday. I have to think the timing of the surgery has a lot to do with his displeasure with his contract. Does anyone think Javon Walker has anything left? I would say Harvin gets a real boost, but I am still worried about his headaches. Let's just say that I doubt the Vikes will be as good this year. Let's hope they lean more on the run.

Gentlemen's Game Season Four

As the pirate gentlemen enter our fourth season, I'm tickled with excitement over the upcoming draft and party at Montana's house. I'm not sure what Montana and Mrs. Montana have planned, but I thought I would start a post in which we could discuss these two events.

The Draft: August 29th, at 7pm eastern.

Not a lot to discuss, here. However, I am willing to host anyone willing to be in the Lexington for the draft. I can provide internet and snacks and drinks. No pressure, but if anyone is around and would like to draft in person with another person, swing by.

Labor Day Weekend: Montana's place of residence, his call.

Besides the usual drinking, discussing fantasy football, and Tyler falling asleep, this is Montana's show to run. He throws a cold ass party. But I wanted to provide some suggestions for activities and supplies to bring.

Supplies -
Beer
Dips (guacomole, bean, cheese, salsa)
Chips (blue corn, yellow corn, doritos)
Tequila (thinking margaritas could be fun, see below)
Football (I got this)
Dates (most of you should have this covered, I need to get on it)
Swimming Trunks (just in case)

Activities -
Football
Swimming
Something to Get Jameson Sax and Mrs. Rone drunk (margaritas, or another drink that is sweet)


That's all I can think of at the moment. Use the comments to further this topic.

Let the mocking begin...

In draft order, I will give you the player:keepers:picks lost.

Scott: Peterson and Turner: 1st and 2nd
Jason: Brees and Mendenhall: 2nd and 3rd
Steve: Jones-Drew and Moss: 1st and 2nd
Everett: Chris Johnson and Gore: 1st and 2nd
Brandon: S. Jackson and Rivers: 2nd and 5th
Taylor: Rice and Rodgers: 1st and 2nd
Ben: Fitzgerald and Manning: 3rd and 4th
John: D. Jackson and Romo: 3rd and 4th
Tyler: Greene and Austin: 1st and 3rd
Jimmy: A. Johnson and Wells: 1st and 3rd

I must say that I am impressed overall with the value of these keepers relative to the picks lost.

Keeper Cost (Final)

The end is here. Sorry, Tyler. After reading this, please read Jason's post and comments.

Round 1:
1. Chris Johnson
2. Adrian Peterson
3. Maurice Jones-Drew
4. Ray Rice
5. Michael Turner
6. Frank Gore
7. Andre Johnson
8. Ryan Mathews
9. Shonn Greene
10. Randy Moss

Round 2:
11. Rashard Mendenhall
12. DeAngelo Williams
13. Reggie Wayne
14. Calvin Johnson
15. Steven Jackson
16. Drew Brees
17. Aaron Rodgers
18. Brandon Marshall
19. Ryan Grant
20. Roddy White

Round 3:
21. Peyton Manning
22. Pierre Thomas
23. Cedric Benson
24. Miles Austin
25. Larry Fitzgerald
26. Jahvid Best
27. Tony Romo
28. Beanie Wells
29. Jamaal Charles
30. DeSean Jackson

Round 4:
31. Greg Jennings
32. LeSean McCoy
33. Jonathan Stewart
34. Matt Schaub
35. Steve Smith (Car)
36. Marques Colston
37. Ronnie Brown
38. Tom Brady
39. Anquan Boldin
40. Steve Smith (NYG)

For Brandon, Rivers is 49, 5th round pick.

Where We Stand

We had a little drama on the blog yesterday, but the most important development was that we came to an agreement that the Yahoo rankings as of noon ET today will be the standard for determining which rounds you sacrifice to maintain rights to your keeper picks. Please submit your keeper selections to Scott by Sunday evening.

New Business: A couple of issues to continue stoking our flames of creativity and contention. Any proposed scoring changes? With the exception of kickers getting too many points, I felt like we got things pretty well squared away last year. John suggested points for return yardage, so that’s something to consider. Personally, I am opposed to that policy. Apparently, when you add return yards into the equation, guys like Percy Harvin and Johnny Knox become top-ten receivers. Sort of a game changer, but as always, I will defer to the preferences of the masses.

Second, if Tyler takes the Christian County basketball team out for a team bonding experience tonight do you think they’ll go to see Lottery Ticket or go to see Lottery Ticket?

Harvin's migraines

Gents,
I am sure you have heard about Harvin's migraines before. It just so happened that the most recent one occurred during practice and required hospitalization. Migraines actually worsen with age, and it appears this trend is holding true in Harvin's case. Triggers can be exercise and stress, two things that seem to be a normal part of his life right now. What impact do you think this has on his draft stock? Frankly, I am pretty concerned about him. The guy is one hell of an athlete, but seeing as how these things can strike without warning and are debilitating, it's a risk. That said, if he's still there in the 10th, I'm taking him.

About the Trophy

Gentlemen,

I don't know about you blokes, but our league's history is very important to me. I plan on passing this down to my children and then on to my children's children. I suspect that many of you feel the same way.

Unfortunately, our league's history is contested to some extent. You see, we are entering our fourth year as a league of gentlemen. And yet, there appears to be some disagreement as to past champions. Let me break it down for you.

We all know Scott won last year's championship in convincing fashion. Jason picked up the win the year before that. But what about the year before that - our first year? The team that was assigned to Taylor won the championship. But Taylor and Scott were co-managers that year. The league did not approve this arrangement. Then again, no one protested. Scott was listed as the co-manager officially on the yahoo team page.

Scott built a trophy and wrote his own name along with Taylor's on the championship football. So, when the trophy was created, the champions were Year 1: Taylor/Scott and Year 2: Jason.

I was not present for what happened next, but, regardless of why it happened, Taylor removed Scott's name from the football. I will leave it to someone who was actually there to explain the circumstances. Regardless, our league's history was changed on that day.

The question I present to the esteemed gentlmen of this league is the following-

What is the appropriate championship count:

Option 1-

Year 1: Taylor/Scott
Year 2: Jason
Year 3: Scott

This count would mean Scott has 1.5 championships, Jason has 1 championship, and Taylor has 0.5 or half of a championship.

(I guess it could also be viewed as 2 for Scott, 1 for Jason, and 1 for Taylor, but I'm not sure how that makes sense. There have only been three championships. Still, I thought I'd throw that out there.)

Option 2-

Year 1: Taylor
Year 2: Jason
Year 3: Scott

This would leave the three past champions at one apiece.

This is probably not the most important issue, but I think we need to resolve it sooner rather than later. And I'm not even sure how a vote would work. Do we need 6votes to decide something. There's really no precedent for this.

I guess we should open this up for comments and debate.

Also, please don't forget to vote on Scott's post concerning yahoo rankings and keeper deadlines.

Deadline

Let's leave the bickering to the other deadline post. Is it acceptable to everyone to have the rankings considered final by noon ET tomorrow? Also, can we announce keepers on Sunday (say 7PM ET) on the blog? If you all want to email me the keepers again, I'm fine with that. You all know who I'm keeping so I won't be at any advantage from knowing who you're keeping.

Trophy name

I am going to start calling the trophy Cecilia.

Cecilia, you're breaking my heart
You're shaking my confidence daily
Oh, Cecilia, I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you please to come home
Come on home

Rodgers' Pass

Make sure you check out Jason's post below because I did not mean to push him down this soon after a post. However, I wanted all of you to see this:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5473874&categoryid=2378529

If there is a lockout next year, can I keep the trophy just based on this video?

Deadline

I don't think we've officially discussed this matter. This is more the Commissioner's place, but I wanted to see what everyone thinks about declaring our keepers. I move that we submit keepers this Sunday. We can do it by whatever means. Last year we all just e-mailed them to Scott because he was happy to disclose his obvious selections in advance. If anyone else feels similarly (and I think we all know that Ben will keep Peyton and Pierre even if he has to give up his first and second round picks to do so) please step forward. Or we can use a different system.

As a secondary issue, I would like it if we can set the deadline for Yahoo to update the rankings and give everyone a couple of days to look into last minute trades. If we go by Yahoo's rankings as of noon on Friday, for example, everyone would know what players would cost when they announce keepers. That would make it easier to determine how much the tweeners: Manning, Fitzgerald, Greene, DeAngelo, etc., will be worth if someone wants to make a move for such a player over the weekend. In a nutshell, I propose that we announce keepers on Sunday, August 22, and the value of those keepers will be based upon Yahoo's rankings as of noon eastern time Friday, August 20. I didn't consult a calendar, so I hope those days are correct. What say you?

Bored Notes

49ers sign Brian Westbrook: With the retirement of 23-year old Glen Coffee, the 49ers have signed Brian Westbrook to backup the heavily used Frank Gore. This isn't a surprising move, but certainly makes Westbrook a necessary handcuff for any Gore owner. If Westbrook proves to be in playing shape this preseason, look for him to be involved in the screen game a little bit. Westbrook will see the field as he provides a quality veteran who can pick up a blitz on third down.

Bills lose Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch to injury: This almost certainly means CJ Spiller will get the bulk of the carries in Week 1. This is a great opportunity for Spiller and increases his fantasy value because any upside he has is closer to being realized. The Bills still suck, but remember that Jackson ran for over 1,000 yards last season. Spiller is a much more explosive and creative of a runner and should be able to duplicate or exceed Jackson's numbers from last year if given the carries.

Favre likely to play: I would still stay away from Favre as a starter in any fantasy draft, but the news does solidify Sidney Rice as a WR 1 and Schiancoe as a starter at tight end. If Harvin is healthy (migraines) his stock improves as well.

Jamaal Charles has nice preseason debut: Anyone worried about Charles apparent demotion to the second team, continue to slightly worry, but don't let it make you back off Charles too much. Thomas Jones ran behind the best offensive line in football last year and had a remarkable year. The Chiefs have an average offensive line. Charles produced as the second best RB for the second half of the year last year behind that offensive line. He averaged 9 yds a carry in his preseason debut behind that line. Charles will produce this year, although Jones will get most of the goalline work.

Another year of emerging WR's: From early preseason indications, it looks as if a new group of WR's will emerge as star fantasy players this year. Mike Williams of Seattle, Mike Williams of Tampa Bay, Victor Cruz of the Giants, Jordan Shipley of Cincinatti, Devin Aromashodu of Chicago, and Legedu Naanee of San Diego have all looked every solid in the preseason thus far, and all have reliable quarterbacks who will can get them the ball. I see Naanee becoming the deep threat for the Chargers in the abscence of Vincent Jackson. Shipley, Cruz, and Aromashodu are emerging as reliable slot receivers in what should be pass heavy offenses (maybe not Cincy). Both Mike Williams have the talent and lack of competition to become the most targeted top receivers on both teams.

Favre Coming Back

Allegedly, Favre is on a plane to MN right now. Good news for Vikes.

Preseason

Has anyone else been watching the preseason games? If so, I'd like to start a discussion about standouts/impressions. I've watched relevant parts of every game so far (thank you DVR and NFL Network). A few players I have been impressed with so far are Mike Turner, Ronnie Brown, Jordan Shipley, CJ Spiller, Marshawn Lynch, Jermaine Gresham, Justin Forsett, DeSean Jackson, Ben Tate, and Ryan Mathews. I was also impressed by the Bronco's offense, but since I expected it to be absolutely terrible, this might not be saying much. Some defenses have impressed me/looked better than I thought they would, but this might be more a function of the offenses getting the rust off.

It is very difficult to gauge a player's value from stat lines and play-by-plays. For one, you don't know if they performed well with 1st team offense against 2nd team D, as was the case when Detroit scored against Pittsburgh. Also, it especially helps to see them at game speed.

DeSean Jackson just plays on another level. I would have to say he looks like the quickest player in the NFL. He looks faster than last year. He may not be the absolute fastest straight-line runner, but he is incredibly quick. He is the perfect player for the Andy Reid system.

Mathews is a stud. Whoever drafts him, Jason, will have a keeper for a few years. He's fast and powerful and even looked like he knew what he was doing on his first plays. San Diego might not miss V-Jax too much after all. When Rivers was in, they picked Chicago's first team defense to pieces.

Spiller and Lynch both looked more explosive than Fred Jackson in limited action. Too bad Jackson and Lynch will both be sidelined for awhile. This has to improve Spiller's stock though.

Turner is back. He basically had four carries right up the middle for 29 yards. In addition, he caught what I think is his first reception ever. If Atlanta's as good as I think they will be this year, I think Mike could top his '08 production, and you're all going down.

Ronnie Brown definitely looked like the best back in Miami. If it weren't for his horrendously difficult schedule, Ricky Williams handcuff, and propensity for landing on IR, he'd be a top-10 back.

Shipley and Gresham make one hell of a difference for the Bengals. For one, Carson clearly trusted both of them. Also, they demand attention. Gresham was consistently drawing double coverage, opening things up for everyone else, especially Shipley coming across underneath.

Forsett is the best back in Seattle without question. It still appears that Julius "Stuffed at the line of Scrimmage" Jones is going to receive a significant amount of carries though. It's a shame. It's also a shame that Whitehurst isn't going to start. He's the best QB they have right now.

And finally, Ben Tate. Unfortunately, the lad's season already appears to be over. He looked good for about 5 snaps. He was clearly the most gifted back they had. Foster looked okay, but this is still definitely going to be an aerial assault.

New Rankings

Taylor informed me this morning that the rankings have been updated on Yahoo. This is surprising considering they did not do this last year. However, that's exactly what has happened and our bylaws state that we go by the rankings which are current as of the day we announce our keepers. That being said, the most relevant rankings with the pick it's going to cost you are outlined below:

Round 1:
1. Chris Johnson
2. Adrian Peterson
3. Maurice Jones-Drew
4. Ray Rice
5. Michael Turner
6. Frank Gore
7. Andre Johnson
8. Ryan Mathews
9. Randy Moss
10. Reggie Wayne

Round 2:
11. Shonn Greene
12. Steven Jackson
13. Rashard Mendenhall
14. Calvin Johnson
15. DeAngelo Williams
16. Aaron Rodgers
17. Drew Brees
18. Brandon Marshall
19. Roddy White
20. Larry Fitzgerald

Round 3:
21. Peyton Manning
22. Ryan Grant
23. Miles Austin
24. Cedric Benson
25. Pierre Thomas
26. Beanie Wells
27. DeSean Jackson
28. Jahvid Best
29. Tony Romo
30. Greg Jennings

Round 4:
31. Steve Smith (Car)
32. Marques Colston
33. LeSean McCoy
34. Jamaal Charles
35. Jonathan Stewart
36. Matt Schaub
37. Anquan Boldin
38. Tom Brady
39. Steve Smith (NYG)
40. Ronnie Brown

I, for one hope, the rankings keep getting updated weekly. This will add to the suspense.

No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.

Don't Know Whatcha Got 'Til It's Gone

“Every rose has its thorn,
just like every night has its dawn.
just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song,
every rose has its thorn.
Yeah it does.”

-Bret Michaels

I hope you like the picture. My mom made me do seven takes until she felt like we captured the raw emotion that has tormented me.

If I’m quoting lines from Poison, then you KNOW it’s fantasy football season. Look, fellas, I’m going to just lay it on the line: it’s been hard as hell knowing that I don’t get to keep that trophy in my basement. I show it to everyone who descends into my man cave, and to be honest, I don’t have anything cool to put in its place once it’s gone, which means it will be replaced by a Longeberger basket. Don’t know what a Longeberger basket is? That’s okay, once you get married and move into a house bursting with throw pillows, candles, and baskets, you’ll get the joke.

The worst part is that I can’t even really enjoy it anymore. I know that it should be with Scott, so every time I look at its beautiful silver (pewter?) finish, I feel that it’s making a cuckold of me. After drafting like a dickhead, I did everything I could to win back its favor, and The Seaward surged magnificently down the stretch. Unfortunately, Taylor bested me in what is obviously destined to be an annual postseason showdown. He is Magic to my Bird (he’s Magic because he owns a flat-billed cap, I’m just Bird by default, I think). All I can do is hope that when I let the trophy go, if it really loves me, it will come back to me. I've probably offended some of you with my uncharacteristically cold comments in the last couple of days. Go ahead, try to stay mad at me, I've also got a boatload of pictures with puppies and a cute baby. Just a warning shot:

Clarity Post

At this point this is how the league's shaping up:

1. Managers lose the pick in the round each of their keepers are projected to be drafted according to the most recent to the draft Yahoo Player Rankings.

2. 16 players on a team, same scoring system as last year.

3. Online Draft August 29th at 7 p.m.

4. 6-team playoff (what weeks?)

5. Is there a consolation bracket this year?

I'm gonna ask you once more, and I'm gonna ask you nice. Where the fuck is Ringo, you bitch?

Kickers Stay

I appreciate Jason's motion to get rid of kickers and glad that we have now settled an issue that has been discussed in our fantasy circle for sometime. Based on our vote, we will have kickers this season. We will only be carrying 16 players on our rosters.

Ben, John, Steve, Tyler and Brandon (changed vote) all voted to keep kickers

Jason, Taylor, Scott, Everett and Jim all voted get rid of kickers

No majority means we keep kickers.

Rule Change Vote

Brothers,

It appears we've touched on an issue, but not yet voted on it. I'll attempt to articulate the potential amendments as objectively as possible. Last year, each team was entitled to a 17-person roster, which provided ample room to store depth, and, in my opinion, made the waiver selections notably less than desirable. I propose that we reduce the rosters by one spot. I also move that we eliminate kickers from our scoring system. Kickers have become a disease-riddled scourge of our league. They are hated by all, without exception. Most belong in prison, and none should ever date any of our sisters. Now, if we rid ourselves of kickers, that would effectively reduce the rosters to fifteen spots. So, under the first proposal, we'll have 16 guys if kickers are in, and 15 guys if kickers are out. Please vote accordingly. Thank you.

1. Reduce rosters by one spot
2. Remove kickers from scoring system

Sports Guy's Take on Fantasy...

I understand that the season hasn't started yet, but I am going to go ahead and provide one of many links I am accustomed to providing on the blog each season. This one links to a good article I recently read on ESPN.

I'm sure all of us either read or have read at some point a piece by Bill Simmons. He wrote a pretty good article talking about what changes/suggestions he would make for fantasy football. Enjoy...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100806

On a side note, have we decided when we need to claim who our keepers are going to be?

Who I Most Want to Play in the Championship

With all due respect to each of you, and remember I'm saying with all due respect to each of you, I will be in the championship game next year and there's not a damn thing any of you can do about it. In the first two years of our league's existence, I had one of the top two teams and made the championship game both years. Last year I had maybe the fourth best team, but I still made the championship. By any employment of mathematical statistical thing, I will be in the championship again this year. The only question will be - who will be there with me?

Here is who I would like to see from the most to the least:

1) Cpt. Winston Montana: Nothing I remember better than Packers/Bears, Week 16, Championship game, Mason Crosby's field goal blocked. As humbly as I can state this, the Gods stop what they are doing in order to watch Montana's and my games.

2) Commissioner Haystacks Calhoun: He talks a lot. I'd love the opportunity to shut him up on the big stage.

3) Luigi Piccolo: Chances are he doesn't realize he's in the Championship and forgets to put the correct lineup in. Easy win.

4) Woodrow: Ultra-competitive, lots of trash-talking, would be a fun week leading up to Sunday.

5) Digital Doppelgaenger: Revenge from last year, lots of trash-talking, but ultimately it's like beating your own child in something really bad. He is my protege, he has modeled his game after my own, so in some ways its like beating myself. Now, I think I'm smart enough to figure out how to beat myself, but it's not as enjoyable, because I still lose.

6) Dr. Martin van Nostrin: Our rivalry is well documented, which would provide for some good pregame interviews with the media, but ultimately, he never brings it in the playoffs. The games with the Doctor are much more entertaining during the regular season.

7) El Granuja: He was robbed of a championship last year, so I'd love to see him get another shot. However, there's not a lot of fantasy history between the two of us, and although it would be pitting two great teams on paper against one another, I think ultimately it would the interest of the league would be low.

8) Steven: Teams become increasingly dangerous later in the year, although dissapointed in the playoffs last year. Will have a new baby at this time of the year, and I do not want to lose to someone who will be that busy, while I spend three or four hours a day thinking about fantasy. It would be a smudge upon my legacy, can't have that.

9) Admiral Jameson Sax: He would consider it a victory to just make the championship. It's a lose-lose situation for me.

My Favorite Team

In order, from who I most want to win the gentlemen's title this year to who I least want to win it all:

1) Admiral Jameson Sax: I highly doubt it, unfortunately.

2) Luigi Piccolo: He stood up for those of us on the outside looking in last year when the 2nd place tournament got cancelled.

3) Dr. Martin van Nostrin: What's not to like about the Good Doctor, who manages to sneak into the playoffs every year?

4) Commissioner Haystacks Calhoun: Would be higher, but, since he's good at real sports, he shouldn't be good at fantasy sports.

5) Steven: I'm still perplexed by his choice to play BenJarvis Green-Ellis five weeks in a row down the stretch a couple of years back, but he is the sole representative of western Kentucky.

6) Woodrow: I hate his team names, he never participates on the blog, and he lives in Zoomtown.

7) Digital Doppelgaenger: May come as a surprise that he's not lower, but I think every league needs a villain.

8) El Granuja: Never participates on the blog, I've heard he cares more about another fantasy league, and he spends more time in Las Vegas than Wayne Newton.

9) Captain Winston Montana: Everybody loves this guy, and another championship for old faithful would just be too boring.

10) HAL 9000: Has asked me 3 times in the past month: "Who do you think I will play in the championship this year?"

No Favre

Just read that the Minneapolis Star-Tribune is reporting that Favre has begun telling teammates and team officials he will not return next year. Jay Glazer also reporting the same.

This hurts Sidney Rice, and I think Peterson a little. Any thoughts?

Also, read my previous post.

The Waiting Game: Quarterback or Tight End?

At this point in our league's history, I would consider us all to be intelligent, strategical fantasy drafters. We've all made mistakes, but in most cases those mistakes were caused by following a logical progression that just didn't pan out. With that in mind, on draft day it becomes crucial, this year more than ever, to follow each manager's previous picks and predict what positions they plan to draft between your picks.

For instance, if you have two picks separated by two managers each picking twice, it is really important to know what these guys have on their roster and what they plan to do with those four picks between your two picks. If you notice both guys have a WR1 and WR2, there is a good chance they are going running back with one of their picks. If you have two running backs left on your board at the bottom of a tier, you may want to draft RB at that spot, even though a higher ranked WR is out there and you still need a WR1, because the chances are that the WR will be there for your next pick, but not either RB.

Where I think this really comes into play is during the run on QB's and TE's. I think both positions have higher value than the guys at yahoo, espn, and most other sites. But if you are on the bottomside of the run, you are possibly in a position to wait on either QB or TE and get really great value on the position in a much later round because other manager's won't have the need at those positions. For instance, in two drafts I've been able to snag Owen Daniels in one, and Chris Cooley in the other, in much later round than anticipated.

Now, I personally think the TE class is much deeper for a ten-team league than the QB class. At TE, I have Gates and Clark ranked as my two elite guys at the position. I have Vernon Davis just outside of that elite status, followed by Witten, Celek, Gonzalez, Finley, Daniels, Shiancoe, and Zack Miller. I don't see much of a difference between the bottom seven. All seven will get targets, red-zone looks, and will play on decent teams (yes, I think the Raiders will be decent this year, 7-9). Gates and Clarke are highly featured in their offense, and are proven veterans in the league. A team with either has a clear advantage at TE. Vernon Davis burst onto the scene last year, and was a great get for Jason, but most of his production came from TD's, which are harder to duplicate than yards. I still think he's in a class above the bottom seven. Regardless, Gates averaged 10.2 fantasy points per game last year. Celek averaged 9.1, Gonzo averaged 7.7, Shiancoe averaged 7.7, and Miller (without a decent quarterback) averaged 6.6. It's not a huge dropoff in terms of production. The point is, if the TE's are drafted in the order I have them ranked, and you are on the downside and have a choice between Daniels, Shiancoe or Finley, I think you can wait until the 12rd or so to snag one.

It's a similar situation for QBs, except having a good QB is much more important for fantasy success. I have Rodgers and Brees in a class of their own. Followed by a group of Manning, Brady, Rivers, Schaub, and Romo. Then, I think there is a somewhat significant dropoff to Favre, Cutler, Kolb, E. Manning. The biggest difference I see between the top seven, and the bottom four is consistency. I think you can play the top seven against any opponent and they will have a good game of at least 15 fantasy points. I think the bottom four are capable of putting up some pretty bad games. With Favre and Cutler you get the potential for huge games, and with Kolb and E.Manning you get the potential for two guys to develop into top-notch QBs in pass-heavy offenses. The difference between QB and TE is that there is a larger group of top talent at QB, than there is at TE. What that means is that if you have the opportunity to get in that top seven, I think you have to do it. If you miss, you can play the waiting game and snag one of the bottom four in a later round. Another difference is that most people have stronger feelings about the potential production of a QB rather than a TE. So, if you are in the bottom tier of QBs, but especially feel that Kolb will make that leap this year, or that Cutler will explode with Martz calling the shots, then you can't afford to wait as long as you may be able to for a TE.

This may have descended into a ramble, but there you go - my thoughts on the waiting game with QBs and TEs.

Peterson and I worked out: No big deal

I went up to Minnesota to check on my boy.  He's doing pretty well.  We decided to have a little competition while I was up there.  I got a medal for besting him in a bench press competition and in the 40 yard dash. He was a good sport about it though.  His friend was a little confused by the whole situation.  I also beat Percy Harvin, but he said camera flashes give him migraines, so he couldn't pose for the picture.  I also grew a little taller since the last time any of you have seen me, just in case you didn't think this was legit.

 

Compensation Subtelties

I would like to point out one of the finer points of fantasy football.  Of course you know about balance in terms of not loading up on a single position.  But I suggest there is a finer balance than this, and it comes in the form of player compensation (and not the monetary type but one player on a team picking up the slack for another player).  If this seems esoteric for now, let me try to clarify using myself as an example.

Last year the Vikings were a good team, there's no doubt about that.  Adrian Peterson had a career year and so did Brett Favre, Sidney Rice, and Visanthe Shiancoe.  There were plenty of points to go around.  Because of this, and the fact that I had Peterson, it benefited me greatly that I had Rice as well.  The thinking is this, although I limit myself in the ability to put up ridiculous numbers with my top WR and RB on the same team, I also make my team more consistent.  It would have been better for me to have Favre and Peterson instead of Rice and Peterson simply because I could really get points from basically every bit of offense and not just the receptions by Rice and the rushes by Peterson.   I also did the same thing with Derrick Mason and Ray Rice.  The idea: find a high-powered offense and get two players on it (one in the passing game and one in the running game).

Contrast this to Everett's team.  This was also a great team last year, but there were NO players on his roster playing for the same team.  This led to some ridiculous weeks (week 2 for example with 224 points), but also wild swings from one week to the next (week 1 he only scored 72 points).

On the other hand, it is a bad thing to roster more than one RB or WR on the same team other than handcuffs.  If the passing game or running game is shut down, both players suffer.  Moreover, it can be maddening trying to figure out which RB to start (ask Ben or Tyler).

Finally, it is not necessary to roster players from the same team if you can find a favorable matchup schedule which serves the same purpose. This, however, is much more difficult than getting two players on the same team.

Just DO NOT draft more than two players on the same team if you plan on starting all of them.  This can be a disaster. Just see my '08 draft (i.e. worst draft in history) for evidence of this plan backfiring.

The Junta

Junta, a term used throughout Hispanic history has been used to describe a number of different governing organizations. Each Junta is different and defined by its own people, structure, and function in history. Generally, Juntas are the first group of leaders to take hold of a young country or to signify a radical change in policy or culture.

My team name, The Junta, is being used this season not only to describe the attitude of my Fantasy Team but a new era in Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen history. To assume that our history is defined so simply by the work of a few individuals is myopic in understanding our league. Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen will continue for a long time and starting this year everyone will see that our history can never be set in stone and The Junta will begin its reign on the people of the UPG League.

The photo above of a certain Junta represents the dark side of history that these small groups of leaders can represent. Let this photo be a warning to everyone in UPG that my Junta will do what it takes to win and to lead this League of Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen.

The Panty Dropper

Let's face it, it's hard to beat Jason Swinney as a team name.  However, Taylor's feeble mind cannot get past the confusion caused by this.  As such, my new team name is The Panty Dropper in homage to Kenny Powers' jet ski of the same name.

Avatar Depression

For those of you who are unaware, a few months ago, Taylor and Ben had a conversation with Tyler regarding the movie "Avatar." After a discussing a few of the finer details involved with Tyler's experience, Ben and Taylor got on WebMD and quickly diagnosed Tyler with Avatar Depression. His treatment for this affliction has been aggressive, and we're all hoping for the best, but keep him in your thoughts.

Team Names That Didn't Make the Cut

Tibetan Dream Yogi

The Voynich Manuscript

Bilderburg Club

and

The Palaiologos Dynasty

Stabbing Robot

Purple City Byrd Gang

I like HAL's idea of providing some context for our team names.

Predictions

Lets have some fun with some preseason predictions. I like to think of myself as the king of Fanstasy Magazines. The most confusing part of each magazine are all the "expert" predictions. Without giving away too many draft day secrets, I would love to see some individual posts predicting some of the following categories:
Most Productive RB:
Most Overrated RB:
Most Productive WR:
Most Overrated WR:
Most Productive QB:
Most Overrated QB:
Old but Good:
Least Sexy Good Pick:
Most Sexy Bad Pick:
Overvalued:
Undervalued:
Biggest Surprise Players:
Impact Rookie:
Breakout Player:
Biggest Busts:
Sleepers:

I understand that some may not want to give away too much of their draft day secrets...but I think this could be interesting. Put me down for Derrick Ward as most undervalued.

White Death

Simo Häyhä was nicknamed White Death by the Soviet Armed Forces during the Winter War of 1939-40 where the Soviet Union attacked Finland. In less than 100 days, White Death racked up 505 confirmed sniper kills in weather that was in between -4 degrees and -40 degrees fahrenheit. The majority of the war took place in a region known as Kolla with the Finnish outnumbered by the Soviets in many of the battles somewhere around 50 to 1. Kolla also happened to be where White Death spent years hunting and developing his skills as an outdoorsman.

White Death dressed in all white camoflauge, packed the snow around his sniper when firing to prevent puffs of snow when he shot, and continually kept snow in his mouth to prevent his exhaled breath from being seen. He would spend months in the forested, mountainous region of Kolla living off the land and sniping Soviet units.

After nicknaming him White Death, the Soviets sent a special task force to kill White Death. White Death killed them all. Then, the Soviets sent a team of countersnipers to kill White Death. White Death killed all of them, as well. Since no Soviet wanted to get anywhere near White Death and his iron-sighted "spitz," a remarkably outdated weapon and scope even in 1939, the Soviets just bombed everywhere they had intel on possible locations of White Death. He wasn't injured.

Aaron Rodgers, Ray Rice, and I are now White Death.

Keeper Cost

Well, well, well.  The rankings are finally out, and, I must say, Yahoo has actually done a pretty decent job this year in my not-so-humble opinion.  Regardless of what I think, we finally have a cost associated with keeping each player.  I will list the round of the pick you will sacrifice for a given player.  If you are fortunate enough, as am I, to have two players in the first round, you will be giving up a 1st and 2nd round pick, if that has somehow been missed on you before.  Without further adieu...

Round 1:
1. Chris Johnson
2. Adrian Peterson
3. Maurice Jones-Drew
4. Ray Rice
5. Michael Turner
6. Frank Gore
7. Andre Johnson
8. Rashard Mendenhall
10. DeAngelo Williams

*Note: there are only 9 players listed for Round 1 because Ryan Matthews is ranked ninth.

Round 2:
11. Steven Jackson
12. Randy Moss
13. Shonn Greene
14. Reggie Wayne
15. Aaron Rodgers
16. Calvin Johnson
17. Drew Brees
18. Larry Fitzgerald
19. Roddy White
20. Peyton Manning

Round 3:
21. Jamaal Charles  (Looking like a pretty decent value as a 3rd round pick...just sayin')
22. Ryan Grant
23. Miles Austin
24. Sidney Rice
25. Pierre Thomas
26. Brandon Marshall
27. Beanie Wells
28. DeSean Jackson
30. Greg Jennings

*Note: there are only 9 players listed for Round 3 because Jahvid Best is ranked 29th.

Round 4:
31. Cedric Benson
32. Tony Romo
33. Marques Colston
34. Matt Schaub
35. LeSean McCoy
36. Steve Smith (Car)
37. Knowshon Moreno
38. Dallas Clark
39. Jonathan Stewart
40. Antonio Gates

Round 5:
41. Philip Rivers
42. Anquan Boldin
43. Steve Smith (NYG)
44. Joseph Addai
45. Tom Brady
46. Vernon Davis
47. Felix Jones
48. Ronnie Brown
49. Chad Ochocinco
50. Jermichael Finley

If you are seriously considering keeping someone beyond the 50th ranked player, you can look that shit up yourself.  And while you are doing that, you might want to reconsider.  Although, here's one John may actually consider...Matt Forte (63).