Championship

First:
I'm glad I didn't play McNabb after all, because that was the single most exciting fantasy football comeback I have ever had the pleasure of taking part.

Second:
I want to point out that someone living in my house has been in the Championship game since this league's inception.  I'm just going to throw it out there that 3267 Jasper Park is a Mecca of fantasy football.

Third:
I am eagerly looking forward to destroying Taylor next week and improving the trophy while it is in my possession for the next few years.

Another Instant Classic

If any of you were watching last night, and I suspect that every single one of you were, you were witness to another instant classic between Jason and myself. For the past three years I've wondered why our rivalry sparks such epic and remembered games. Honestly, it could be a combination of many reasons. Here is what we know:

1. We are both, literally, willing to die in pursuit of victory.
2. Neither of us is concerned with individual stats, pretty wins, or highlight reels.
3. We both deeply care about our personal legacy and how history will remember us.
4. Because we have received so much from the game, we are both committed to giving even more back to it, especially to the children and handicaps.

When you have two men who turn a blind eye to the amount of blood shed, who care so deeply about the game that their penises get hard just thinking about it, and who blatantly disregard all personal responsibilities that lie outside of the game then you have something special. We need each other. We push one another to strive for an even greater greatness. Without Jason, these three straight championship games would mean much, much less to me. Without me, Jason would have left this league after year one to find some real competition.

So after reaching my third championship game in three years how do I feel? Well, pretty fucking good. I do have to admit that Jason's team, by the end of the year, was much better than mine. As Jason surely knows, and any of you who were watching would know, Jason should have beaten me last night. We were tied 86-86 with about a half to play. I had Braylon Edwards and Maurice Morris doing nothing. There was no indication either of them could do anything as well. Sure, Morris could have busted a 64 yarder like last week, but the 49ers were bottling him up, and the Lions were forced to throw most downs due to the score and lack of time. Jason had Anquan Boldin at 116 yards receiving before the first half was over, and was stopped on the one yard line. He also had Brandon Marshall on a Broncos team that was having a lot of trouble running the ball and only moving effectively when throwing. He also had touchdown maching Vernon Davis against the Lions for an entire half. I end up winning 89-85. That's right - in that entire second half Jason lost a point. Marshall lost seven yards receiving that were actually rushing yards and it took a point away. I got ten yards from Morris and an Edwards two point conversion to win. I really had a pretty bad week besides Jonathan Stewart running for over 200 and a score and Antonio Gates catching 70 yards and a score. We both had some misplays that would have won it for us, but overall Jason was the better team. I just got extremely lucky.

Losers bracket

I thought this league had a losers bracket? Which, I think I certainly would have won this year. If this is the commissioners fault because he didn't want to lose to me in these the loser playoffs than I demand an explanation. I think we can still settle who comes in second place. Tyler, Jimmy, myself and whoever the other person is who didn't make it shall start a season of diplomacy and the winner in that dimension gets the Gentlemens League second place trophy.

And to Ben Jimmy and the other guy, I will need your diplomacy passwords which I hope are the same as your email passwords. If they aren't send those my way too.

Goodbye Ben, Jim, Tyler and John

It is with a huge heart and as much respect and admiration I can fake, that I officially say goodbye to teams Ben, Jim, Tyler and John. As it doesn't look like we have a consolation bracket this year, this actually is a goodbye to those four teams. They are done, their fantasy season is over, and the off-season has begun.

But before we say our goodbyes, let us figure out just how we got to this point.

The Playoff Teams: Probably the biggest reason we are saying goodbye to these four guys was the managerial skills, craftiness, and fortitude of the six teams currently in the playoffs.

1. Scott and Everett. Even though Everett's playoff birth didn't come until the final week of the season, he and Scott clearly had the two most dominating teams throughout the year. Everett put up a couple bad weeks, but he was by far the scariest team to play all year. I don' think Tyler ever fully recovered from the beating suffered at the hands of Everett and Chris Johnson. Scott really had a mediocre stretch throughout the season, but I think we all saw the talent from top to bottom on his roster, and his ability to work the waiver wire this year and then trade for talented pieces was really impressive. It's a shame these guys will play in the second round, because I'd love to see these two in the championship.

2. Jason and Brandon. Really a tale of opposite story lines with these two clubs. Jason started out dismal, and at many points in the season I thought he had the worst team in the league. Surprising, as he has been a top two player the previous two years. Jason shook some stuff up in a famous locker room scene where he and Forte almost came to blows. Forte left town and Jason went on an unprecedented winning streak breaking a lot of hearts on the way. Brandon started strong out of the gates, and limped into the playoffs. I doubt anyone is scared of his or my team at this point.

3. Steve. An enigma of a team all season. He is capable of putting up impressive scores, but can also have Randy Moss lose a point a week before the playoffs. Kurt Warner has once again proven to be a reliable fantasy option at quarterback, MJD has done what's been expected of him for the past three years, and Thomas Jones has probably been the biggest surprise of the season. Steve has an incredibly dangerous team, and I fully expect him to make the championship game.

4. Taylor. Were every one of my players on the Madden cover this year? The guy taking the most hits was actually the most durable for my team this year. Turner, Williams, Stewart, and Williams have all been banged up and missed time during the year. When healthy my team looked like a contender, but the lack of depth and poor draft really began catching up with me as injuries plagued my running back corps. The regression of Sproles really took a toll on my team as he was a perfect start in the flex for the first third of the season. The Williams/Moreno trade did not pay off, and I was unable to get any type of consistent production from my receiving corps. Luckily, my stretch during the middle of the season when Turner, Williams and Rodgers carried me was enough to get me in the playoffs by point total over John and Ben. As a result of my third straight trip to the playoffs, my board of directors, has offered me a five-year contract extension which I have agreed to.

Secondary Reasons: Despite the six teams still playing, each of the bottom four is also to blame for their failure, and each drank a different poison.

1. Ben. Ben had the most talent of the bottom four. Manning had a great season and he got great production from Fitzgerald and Jackson. His call on Jackson was excellent. However, Jackson's production tailed off at the end of the year and it likely cost Ben some W's. His running back corps was tied up in the Saints and Cowboys, and it was anyone's guess who would be the fantasy hero. None of the backs produced great fantasy stats because the numbers were often split three-ways on each team. Plus both teams threw the ball with great effectiveness, and by the end of the year did not rely on the run. Ben also stuck with the Steelers D for too long. That is a tough spot, because I admit it wasn't until the last week of the season that I really began thinking of the Steelers D as a weak play. I abandoned the Giants much earlier in the season, but I think that is an easier move. I would have had trouble getting away from the Steelers too.

2. John. A talented receiving corps, and a two-headed monster at quarterback. John failed to turn his stable of receivers into a productive running back. We all know this story. John also had a problem with his two-quarterback system, because he often seemed to make the wrong play between Big Ben and the Mexican. John's team took a blow with the loss of Owen Daniels midway through the season, but he was also blessed with the injury to Ronnie Brown. Brandon Jacobs regression was impossible to see, and cost him a ton in the beginning of the season. However, John brought in Forte and really seemed to find a way to motivate him in a way Jason could not. Though he missed the playoffs, John has some nice keeper options and his improvement this year is something that has to give the fans some hope.

3. Tyler. What can I say? Honestly, his owners have to be growing tired, his fans have to be growing tired, and I'm sure Tyler is rethinking his entire choice of profession right now. It's going to be a long off-season for this club as they have a lot of decisions to make before the 2010 season. For the first time in his career, Tyler beautifully worked the waiver wire. However, he traded away his franchise player for a fumble-prone change of pace back who is likely to spend a lot of time on the bench. He's locked into an aging Brady and a Patriots offense that is in a heap of trouble. He traded away Sidney Rice for a much lesser talent, and failed to use his depth at wide receiver to improve his club. And again, he made misplay after misplay. Tyler's club seems to run into a sea of bad luck each year and never really recovers. Whatever the case, this club is in trouble. The fans know it. The owners know it. Tyler knows it. For the third straight year, they are on the outside looking in.

4. Jimmy. Dug himself into a hole early in the season, lost Ronnie Brown, never had quarterback production, and traded away LT just prior to his resurgence. It was a tough year for Jim during his return to the league after a one-year hiatus, but he does still have all-world talents in Andre Johnson and Reggie Wayne. Those two guys are automatic starts week in and week out. If he can turn one into a stud running back, or keep both and draft the hell out of running backs next year, he can turn things around quickly.

Who's John Wall?

I saw in Jason's post that he is ahead of me. 

At any rate, the playoff situation is...eh.  In the future, I think we should return to the previous format with no games later than week 16 and no byes.  I know this will make Ben and Tyler less likely to make the playoffs, but by my calculations, the probability of them doing so in this format was only 1% anyway.  What's another 0.5%?

I heard Taylor was getting ready to pick up Lamont Jordan to play for him this week, but then he got turf toe on the way to Target.

Don't worry, Taylor, there's always Larry Krieger or Chris Pressley.

The Regular Season Nears Completion

Due to the Ben-Everett matchup, there are currently three teams vying for two spots in the playoffs. If Everett wins or Taylor loses, Everett is in. If Taylor wins or Ben loses, Taylor is in. Ben has to win to get in. The current standings are:

1. John Wall 100-0 Infinite Points
2. Scott 11-2 1352
3. Steve 8-5 1260
4. Jason 7-6 1262
5. Brandon 7-6 1199
6. Everett 6-6-1 1512
7. Taylor 6-7 1317
8. Ben 6-7 1251
9. Tyler 5-8 1251
10. John 5-8 1197
11. Jim 3-9-1 1200

And now a quick recap of last week’s match ups:

Jason v. Tyler: I ended Tyler’s bid for the playoffs, which cannot possibly please our gentle commissioner. My boys came together and put up the highest point total for the week, even though New Orleans D lost 8 points last night. I think the weird Meachem TD went to Defense/Special Teams initially, but then it was removed…I don’t know how you properly score that one. Tyler put up the third most points this week, which would have been enough to win every other matchup except….

John v. Taylor: Brandon Jacobs: 76-yard TD reception. Wow! That’s worth 13 points…guess how much Taylor lost by? An unlucky number indeed. Tay sits at third in the points total, but is precariously eligible for the playoffs. John finally got the week that his guys owed him. He even won with Jason Witten on the bench when Witten went for another 100-yard game. Aside: the Forte and Witten for Mendenhall and Boldin trade has worked out well for both squads. Forte has had a couple of good games for John, and Witten came alive in the last two weeks. Similarly, Anquan Boldin returned to last season’s form and Mendenhall has been more than serviceable. John doesn’t miss Boldin because he has a stable of receivers and I don’t miss Witten because the Legendary Vernon Davis continues to baffle.

Ben v. Brandon: Brandon can win a grind it out fantasy game better than anyone in the world. Ben contemplated starting Meachem over Vincent Jackson, but Skyscraper was too tough to sit. Meachem would have guaranteed Ben victory. Our league's ethical leader won't throw a pity party for himself playing the what-if game, but I'll do it for him. Now Ben has to take down Ev’s Juggernaut to secure a place in the postseason. The funny thing is, if he beats Everett, Taylor loses, and I lose, Ben will get the 3 seed. It’s that wide open, people. Bring it every week.

Everett v. Jim: Donald Driver fumbles away a victory for Jim, leaving us with a dreaded tie. We need to address this issue. I think there should be no ties. I like the idea of using the optimum lineup for each squad as the tie-breaker. Taylor suggested the team with the highest point man in the starting lineup gets the win. Please submit additional suggestions, but these ties are yucky, and leave none of us feeling satisfied…they’re the fantasy equivalent of blue balls. Whenever you have a tie, both managers will obviously look at their rosters and figure out how close they were to getting additional points. Everett only needed two more yards from Chris Johnson to get another point, but Jim wins this battle of almost. Andre Johnson finished with 99 receiving yards, and Kevin Smith only needed one more receiving yard to get another point. Beanie Wells was also only two rushing yards shy of another point. So close, Jim.

Steve v. Scott: So did Scott tank or not? You know what, I’m not taking the bait, Scott. I think you’re trying to confuse me and make me focus on what you’re doing. I’m just going to worry about my team and what I can do to make them the best they can be. Stay out of my head. Scott referenced my team looking strong, but the fact that Brees likely won’t be a strong Week 17 play. Same probably goes for Peyton and AP. We need to fix the schedule next year and avoid Week 17 matchups. I like as much fantasy football as possible, but those Week 17 games are screwy. It’s one thing to have a marquee player out with an injury, but it’s another to have him just play a quarter and sit to stay healthy. On the opposite end of the Week 17 spectrum, Steve has a couple of fantastic matchups...which would make for an interesting showdown if he gets another shot at Scott.

Waiver Wire All-Stars

It really feels like there has not been good action on the waiver wire this season, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect those who worked it the best. Here is my salute to the All Waiver Wire Team, and the savvy managers who obtained these diamonds in the rough:

QB: Brett Favre (Jim); Nobody in our league is celebrating Favre’s phenomenal season, and I would be ashamed if we were. That doesn’t change the fact that Jim got himself a top five QB who has pulled an entire living rabbit out of his ass this year.

RB: Laurence Maroney (Steve): After making cameo appearances for multiple rosters, Steve finally tamed the wild stallion that is Maroney. Laurence still loves his fumbles, but the Patriots have been forced to rely on him, which has turned him into a viable fantasy start.

RB: Jamaal Charles (Scott): Charles is on a terrible team but it’s a rule that NFL teams have to get some yards during the game, so now Charles and the Lunch Break Bowe are sharing all of KC’s. Charles was useless for half the season, but has already given Scott multiple good starts.

RB: Justin Forsett (Tyler): Forsett apparently is having a decent season. I forgot Seattle even had a team, so this may be news to some of you all as well. It’s also a good illustration of how paltry the waiver wire has been.

WR: Miles Austin (Tyler): Austin has been spectacular for many games this year, but this selection comes with a caveat, because Tyler has had him on his bench for at least two of those blow-up performances. Boom or bust, Tyler, boom or bust.

WR: Mike Sims-Walker (Tyler): Tyler vowed Sims-Walker to be “untradeable” in Week 3 or 4, and Jacksonville Mike has mostly delivered. He’s been slower in recent weeks, but still a great waiver wire pickup by Lord Armstrangler.

TE: Vernon Davis (Jason): It took courage and foresight to not only pick up Vernon Davis, but part ways with the reliable Jason Witten. Such savvy should excuse me from playing catch-and-release with Maroney and Charles earlier this season.

K: Irrelevant! We should really just get rid of these fools. Not only are they not football players, some of them aren’t even men.

DEF: I have no idea.

Sidney Rice gets an honorable mention, but I don’t think Scott ever feels that great starting Big Sid, so that decreases his fantasy value. Does anyone love the NFC North more than our man Scott? AP, Calvin Johnson, Sidney Rice, Jermichael Finley, Chester Taylor, and formerly Kevin Smith have all figured prominently in Scott’s roster this season (prominently may be a stretch for Jermichael, but whatever).

John also gets a shout out for getting Ricky Williams late, basically in the waiver wire zone. Williams is currently the fifth-ranked RB, which is f-in crazy.

This post is sure to be a hot stove conversation topic, so feel free to weigh in and let me know what you think!

Parity, Tanking, and Leftover Morsels

The surge for the playoffs is upon us! I don’t honestly believe that my mediocre team can continue to find ways to win, but I’m kindling every bit of hope within me that this feat is possible. Steve and Scott have clinched playoff spots, but there are six teams jockeying for the final four playoff spots. Everett has an insurmountable points lead and will annihilate any tie breaker scenario, so he is close to clinching.

As always, injuries change the climate of the season, and I decided to review how our the teams in our fair league have rated since Week 7. The pecking order is:

1. Everett 681 points
2. Taylor 629 points
3. Tyler 618 points
4. Scott 601 points
5. Jim 599 points
6. Jason 595 points
7. Brandon 587 points
8. Steve 579 points
9. John 556 points
10. Ben 550 points

My take on things (in order of the above list, not committing to actually ranking everyone):

Everett – team could not have worse luck. They are extraordinary and seldom have an off week. He’s lost four of his last six despite outscoring the league average by 15 per game. I don’t know how Shaub hasn’t gotten hurt yet, I thought that was his thing.

Taylor – Despite the poor O-Line, A-Rod has been pouring in the fantasy points. He is facing a bit of trouble with Carolina’s failure to just give DeAngelo the ball, Turner is banged up, and his receivers have been horrible, but he is in a good position to make the playoffs and continue his gloating.

Tyler – Really? After his team was outscored by Chris Johnson in one week, Ty still ranks third in points over the last six weeks. His team is completely boom or bust. Miles Austin, Sims-Walker, and Brady headline his cast of unpredictable characters…and we know how Tyler hates shuffling that roster. Tyler is on the outside looking in right now, but he can definitely win out, and finally taste the sweet nectar of the playoffs. That will require him to beat me and Scott. We’ll see how Scott decides to play that one next week….

Scott – This is a strong squad, and has been winning since the start. He has outstanding production from RBs and always seems to make the right defensive play. More importantly, the fantasy gods smile upon Scott with a radiance that only Brandon knew before. It seems that his team typically only has to score about 80 points to ensure victory. His main concern right now should be whether Minnesota clinches early enough that they won’t play Peterson much in the last two games. If that happens, then Scott’s roster is equalized.

Jim – The Job of our fantasy league. Jim’s roster on paper looked elite until the Ronnie Brown injury, but he just can’t convert that into wins.

Jason – If Benson loses the lion’s share of the carries down the stretch, then my team is going to be fighting an uphill battle. It appears that Fred Jackson wants to return to Week 2 form and give my roster a boost, but I think we all know Brees is the key. I’ve won five of six, and that run of good fortune is sure to expire soon. That said, if I get “Bad Tyler” this weekend, then my team will be very close to clinching.

Brandon – The Westbrook injury has been a tough blow to Brandon’s morale. Like my team, his guys need to put up big numbers to help them in the case of a tie-breaker scenario. He has a pivotal matchup with Ben this week that will most likely determine a playoff spot.

Steve – The Big City keeps rolling on despite apparently not scoring a ton of points. MJD and Randy Moss are capable of going for big numbers against any competition. Last week, the four QBs on his roster combined for 6 points. He couldn’t replicate that again in a zillion years.

John – Stop playing the Bears D. They are no longer elite, and are costing you wins. Portis and Jacobs have been really disappointing, but John’s receiver monopoly has been a fun sidebar the entire season.

Ben – The running back woes have been nagging Ben all season, and his committees are totally unpredictable. He still controls his own destiny for the playoffs, and if he gets his RBs right, then he’ll be a tough out. The Indy Mannings have already clinched their division, and I believe they have a three-game lead on home field advantage for the playoffs with only five games remaining. If the Colts sit Peyton, then Ben’s roster looks not so pretty.

As many of you are aware, Scott is going to tank this week against Steve to protect himself from a potential match-up with Everett in the finals. Feel free to discuss this, but I think Scott is really trying to do what he thinks is best to win a championship, so I don’t have a huge issue with it. I will say, that he runs the risk of finishing second to Steve in the standings, and moving down a notch for the top pick in the draft, but that would easily be worth it if he gets a championship. Considering the parity in the league, I’m not sure how helpful this maneuver will be. Scott’s two losses have come to John and me, so it’s not like the juggernauts have taken him down. Long lunch break? You bet.