Fantasy Football Personalities

I would love to take credit for this information, but here are some personalities of fantasy football players that typically show up in every league. Since the draft is a little over a month away, I figured we can have some fun with these since some of them describe members of our league pretty accurately. Feel free to comment on your choice for each one!

1. The Favorite Team Guy
He drafts only guys from his favorite NFL team....no matter how crappy the team might be. You know, that guy who's a die-hard Lions fan and he's sincerely smiling when he grabs QB Matt Stafford in the third round.

2. The Overachiever
It's not like everyone doesn't bring their list of picks, but this guy has 15 draft guide magazines, a laptop with drafting software, spiral-bound notebooks full of secret scribblings, and a draft guru on the telephone.

3. The Girlfriend
No fantasy football league ever starts with the girlfriend, but two or three seasons into it, it happens. You look over and there she is...your buddy's girlfriend is making picks at your draft. And every single pick she makes is punctuated with the question, "Is he any good?"

4. The Old-Timer
It never fails. Someone invites their dad, or older friend from the office to join in. He randomly yells out "Bradshaw!" or "Staubach!" and asks if Walter Payton is still available.

5. The Confusionist
Past the second round of your draft, he's completely and hopelessly lost. Unable to focus, he has no clue who he's picking or when he's supposed to pick. He's constantly going out of turn. To make matters worse, he's picking guys that have already been picked. By the 5th round he's gone from telling his pick to asking, "Uh, has anybody picked (fill in the blank)?"

6. The Agonist
He's the reason that you instituted a 60-second time limit on draft picks in the first place. He so agonizes over each choice that he's all but frozen after the first round.

7. The No-Show
It happens every year. Something came up: his mom is in the hospital, his girlfriend planned their vacation the same week, he just can't make it. Panicked, he usually asks one of his buddies at the draft to pick for him. And faxes him over some hand-scribbled, illegible notes on a dozen guys "he'd like you to get for him." Then, of course, he spends the rest of the season bitching about the team you drafted for him.

8. The Henpecker
He isn't as bad as the guy who invited his girlfriend, but he's close. He can't make picks because his wife/girlfriend calls him 10 times during the draft. He moans each time the phone rings, but refuses to to turn it off no matter how much you mock him. He's the reason you have to explain, "Honey, please don't call me during the draft."

God Yes!

I have been waiting for the day to receive my official invite to the league for so long. It's like Christmas. Thank you, Commish.

Things to Come

I understand that there are still a few important items to take care of and many of us are getting restless. In the coming days you will see Bebo joining the blog and league. You will also see an official ballot that will determine how we will admit new franchises into our keeper league. Most importantly you will see an invite in your email very soon from Yahoo to our actual league. This means you need to be racking your brain for team names and images. However, I want two things to be set in stone tonight.

1: Draft day will be Saturday Sept 5. The draft will occur at 11 eastern time and will be done in Harper Swinney's basement. We will not be autodrafting any teams. If you can't make it, please make arrangements to be on gmail chat at that time. Unless some emergency occurs, I doubt any owners will be cutting slack for not drafting. Everyone has had plenty of time to respond if that day doesn't work for you....thus I am assuming that it does. Again, you don't necessarily have to be there, but you need to draft your own teams.

2:Since each of us will be forfeiting two rounds of picks prior to the round our keeper is projected, I want to establish exactly which projections we will use. When you create your team name and join the league you will see the "players" tab at the top of the screen. When you click on that tab, there is a list of players. They are in order of their projected pick. You can reorder players based on a # of categories. However, the projection # is the one we will use to determine what round we forfeit. If this is not clear, please let me know.

Its Coming Soon!

Behold a Pale Horse

I have had my ear to the league rumor mill and have come across some information that I thought I should pass along. It has come to my attention that a trade of biblical proportions may be on the horizon. I am not a party to the rumored transaction. And, unfortunately, I am not at liberty to divulge all of the information to which I have access. However, I can say that the exchange would result in the reunification of two old friends, would alter the landscape of our fair game, and would lay the foundation for the rise of the greatest villain we have ever witnessed.

Date, Time, Location, and Attire for 2009 Draft

Gentlemen, I know we have briefly brough this topic up, but I wanted to see about getting some concrete information nailed down on our proposed Live Draft. After talking to the Commish yesterday, I think sometime in the morning or around noon for Saturday, September 5th seemed to be good for everyone. I would like to formally impose on Captain Montana for use of his domain in Louisville. We could have the draft in the barracks below, with all of our dames who wish to come making fun of us above in the living room.

I think this is the most viable option for us. Admiral Sax and I will be traveling from afar to make it back for this wonderful event. We can each bring food, beverages, and whatever draft literature we choose and have a rousing good time with each other to kick off this glorious new season. That night, we could all go out to celebrate and embarrass ourselves under the lights of the city. With this being a gentlemen's league, I would also be interested to inquire about what other members feel about the attire that should be worn. The comradery of this league is getting stronger and stronger each year, and I look forward to seeing everyone soon. Please comment below.

I also found this link to Clinton Portis and his preparation for the upcoming season by going with "the Sisqo look"...Luigi may want to reconsider him as a keeper.

http://blacksportsonline.com/index/2009/07/clinton-portis-channels-his-in.html

You're in trouble

Check out my latest toy:

http://www.rotowire.com/draft/nfl/images.htm?i=1
http://www.rotowire.com/football/draftsoftware.htm

Running mocks has never been so simple.

I hope I get to play Jason week 5. If you don't know what I mean by that, then there is a nice spot in the consolation bracket reserved for you.

Including new players

As far as I know, we have not yet determined conclusively how the new players will be incorporated into the league (or even if they are 100% sure they are playing as neither has joined the blog). My feeling is this:
We let them choose from our leftovers in a small draft:

Player 1
Player 2
Player 2
Player 1

whereby player 1 picks tenth in the draft and player 2 picks ninth. I also suggest that we let the first one of them to join this blog decide if he wants to be player 1 or player 2 in the scenario above.

As far as anything official, I defer to the commish to make a separate post for voting. I simply want to promote some discussion of this issue and I also want to make sure they are actually joining the league.

Trade Discussion and Ballot

Based on the lack of discussion, interest or outrage at the idea of off-season trades I feel that its time to officially address the trade set to occur between Hal and Digital. I think that policing off-season trades is more trouble than it is worth, and at the end of the day, everyone is keeping two players. However, just as all owners had the ability to review and approve trades during the season, we will do the same for off-season trades. Please keep in mind that at some point, whether pre or post draft day, we all will be looking to make deals that help our teams. With that in mind, and based on the fact that this trade seems fair and balanced, I highly encourage all owners to approve. Trades are exciting and a huge reason why fantasy is so much fun, I would hate to see our league develop a reputation for stifling trades out of spite. I know Scott and Taylor are the Matt Walsh and Grep Paulus of the league, but we should overlook their whiteness in the effort to live up to our league's name. Thus, I am deeming this the official ballot to approve the trade between Scott and Taylor. Taylor is giving up Calvin Johnson to Scott in exchange for Aaron Rodgers and draft picks to be decided later. How they will exchange picks should be left up to them, as precedent was set last year as Scott and Jason shuffled picks without approval from others in the league. All those approving, please say so in the comments section...all not approving simply comment "Taylor, you sure had a lot of forehead in that picture". Since they obviously approve of the trade themselves, thus 2 votes, we only need 3 more to get the deal done. Mr. Wood, your vote will be your first act as an owner since your reinstatement. I am watching you.

Stinkball

I would really hate to play against the likes of Ben, Tyler, John, and Steve in this game: http://www.stinkball.com/

Naming Names

Gentlemen,

As most of you are aware, I love to compile lists. It's sort of a hobby of mine, and I will frequently be posting useless lists on this blog from here until the day our eldest sons take over our teams. Of course, eldest daughters will work as well. As will youngest sons and daughters. Please, though, no middle children.

Anyway, on to my first list: my favorite team names and least favorite team names from the past couple years. These rankings reflect my personal preferences. Thus, I've taken out my own entries, since I obviously really liked the names or I wouldn't have chosen them. Please feel free to include your own rankings in the comments section.

Top 3 Team Names:

1) Western Front

Luigi used "Western Front" as his team name for the first part of the 2008 season. If memory serves, I believe many league members were in the midst of an especially contentious round of Diplomacy right about the time he revealed his choice of team name. I'm a sucker for political references, and "Western Front" is just vague enough that it made me wonder what made Luigi go with that particular moniker. Additionally, the ominous name combined with the mysterious image he chose as his symbol evoked a sort of militaristic, conspiratorial sensation in my nether region.

2) Blackbeard's Delight

In season one, Winston's "Serenity Now" finished runner-up and made reference to quite possibly the Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen's favorite sitcom -- Seinfeld. In year two, the Captain upped the ante, naming his club "Blackbeard's Delight" in homage to Anchorman, an underrated comedy classic and, in my humble opinion, Will Ferrell's finest performance. Extra points for making the reference to Anchorman so obscure that, embarrassingly, I had to ask the Captain what the name meant. Oh, and double extra bonus points for using Tobias Funke from Arrested Development, in his never-nude blue jean shorts no less, as the team symbol

3) 2.0

The name itself may not be especially ground-breaking, but, put in its proper context, it's pure gold. Michael Chicklis had just started his first year of teaching and was in the process of realizing just how little time he would have for Madden and similar shenanigans. All the while his friends were basking in the glow of indefinite youth. As these realities sunk in, Haystacks became increasingly withdrawn and angry at the world. Leonard and I were the beneficiaries of Mr. Calhoun's troubles, as we enjoyed countless episodes of unintentional humor, culminating in an alleged "Date Night" for the ages. Haystacks named his new persona 2.0, as in version 2.0, and adopted it as his team name shortly thereafter. The lack of imagination that went into this team name corresponds perfectly with the lack of...well, anything, in the Commish's life during that period of time.

The 3 Worst Team Names:

3) Schmo-Hog's

I actually really like this team name. It's catchy, fun to say, and original. But what's up with the apostrophe? Schmo-Hog's what? Schmo-Hog's beige sweater vest? Schmo-Hog's favorite movie? Schmo-Hog's booger wall beside his bed? Schmo-Hog's astronaut suit? I don't understand. And why did no one call HAL9000 out for it? After all, we've called him out for far less.

2) Obamistic

We get it, Luigi, you really like our current President. And you were optimistic about his chances. Perhaps I'm still just sore that he changed to "Obamistic" from "Western Front."

1) Woody's Warriors

Hey Zoomtown, welcome back to the league. But next time, just stay with Team 7. I don't think I can handle Jimmy's Jammers.

The T.O. Show Supports Ron Mexico

Ron Mexico's dream to once again throw ducks in the NFL seems a little closer to a reality as his cause has now found the backing of T.O. The T.O. Show took time out of running shirtless on an empty football field to speak to reporters about the possibility of Ron Mexico's return to the NFL. After reports circled that The Commish was leaning towards a four-game suspension for Mexico's involvement in a dog-fighting circuit, T.O. spoke to reporters in Buffalo, his fourth NFL team in six years. The T.O. Show said,

I think the way the commissioner is handling it is unfair to Michael Vick [Ron Mexico]. I think he's done the time for what he's done. I don't think it's really fair for him to be suspended four more games. It's almost like kicking a dead horse in the ground.

After the confusion over how to "kick a dead horse in the ground" ceased, The T.O. Show continued, stating,

There's a number of guys around the league that have done far worse things than that and gotten a second chance. So I don't see why he shouldn't.

The T.O. Show is correct that players have done far worse and gotten second chances. However, Mexico's absence from the NFL over the past two seasons had little to do with any decision by Goodell, and much more to do with his incarceration in Leavenworth Federal Prison. It seems that a four-game suspension by the NFL would largely be taking into consideration the time he's served. Furthermore, imposing a four-game suspension on a player does little to deny that person a second chance in the NFL. Mexico will get his chance from the NFL, the more important question is if an NFL team will risk the PETA protests in order to sign Mexico for the upcoming season. Unless Steve is handed the reigns to a real NFL team, I think the odds are slim. Few teams are in the market for a duck throwing ex-con with declining athleticism.

Favre

What are the odds that Favre actually makes a decision by July 30th? I say they are less than 33%. What pisses me off most about the man is that he is tarnishing his legacy. As for his effect on AP's production, I really doubt it would be more than having Sage Rosenfels at QB. And if you didn't already know, I am keeping AP and Calvin Johnson.

Draft Order Decided

Winston chose the # 146. His choice corresponded with the # 6....I can verify this was done properly and since 6 is an even number, we go with option one. Thus, all owners will be drafting based on their regular season finish. It should go like this....

1. Jason
2. Taylor
3. Scott
4. Brandon
5. Ben
6. Tyler
7. John
8. Steve

Trade Proposal

Gentlemen,
Taylor and I have agreed to a trade. I will trade him Aaron Rodgers for Calvin Johnson. This seems more than fair, as I clearly need a solid #1 wide receiver for my team and Taylor wants to end any QB inconsistencies. In addition to the players, given the consideration of the keeper league, Taylor will also gain a pick in an earlier round and I will forfeit an early round pick as CJ is ranked more highly than Rodgers. I had intended all along to keep A-rod instead of Chris Johnson as some of you may have thought for exactly the reason that I would maintain an early round pick.
Sincerely,
DD

Rivalry Week

Taylor v. John - This rivalry dates back to pre-fantasy football. It began with an innocent comment concerning a haircut and climaxed with a war over tomato sauce. As close friends who spend a lot of time together their personalities are often in conflict. They are both to blame for their rivalry. I've made a list to illustrate:

• John: the chocolate on the futon episode, the antiquing outrage and threats, the breaking of Taylor's and Brooks' cool lamp, the falling asleep at all times, or his just big stupid face.
• Taylor: I can't really think of anything.

Like I said, they are both to blame for this rivalry. However, when it comes to fantasy John and Taylor have been able to avoid their usual conflict. We shall see if that changes this year.

Scott v. Jason - These two have never met, but their scientific brains are at natural odds in the statistical world of fantasy football. Scott - the self-proclaimed master of the waiver wire has found moderate fantasy success. But outside of Adrian Peterson has, he has gotten little help from his draft. Jason is unquestionably the current MVP and defending-champion. His success traces back to his drafting abilities. Both put their methods to test again this year.

Taylor v. Brandon - Brandon's improbable fantasy run last year was watched with great astonishment around the league. Oddly, Taylor encouraged his former roommate and good friend on his path of destruction and rumors began to swirl whether the rivalry was dying out. Though, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who sincerely believed this rivalry could possibly die out. With UK Basketball's turnaround Taylor has the ammo needed to reignite this heated rivalry.

Jason v. Ben - the sarcastic, deprecating remarks by these two can sometimes go unnoticed, but have found a permanent home in the comment sections of this blog. Two good friends whose wit and sharp tongues make us all laugh, but are arguably at their best when pitted against one another. As the two intellectually and physically dominant males, the 2009 season should be a battle ground for these two to see who truly is the silverback gorilla.

John v. Tyler - Two years ago John traded Randy Moss to Jimmy and Jimmy was able to beat Tyler in the last game of the regular season to gain the final playoff birth. Tyler was knocked out of the playoffs, and as a result used his commissioner power to change trade deadlines in the 2008 season. Privately, Tyler has expressed his disgust for the move. The tension only grew as Tyler once again failed to make the playoffs. The rest of the league wondered if he was still suffering from the Buonadonna curse. Most agree he is.

Please comment below on which rivalry, or if I have missed one, what rivalry you look forward to playing out over the 2009 season.

Dig Dop Putting His Faith in Rotowire

This came in the mail today. Not the dark and handsome guy in the green, but the Rotowire Fantasy Football Guide for 2009.

It is addressed to a Crick, Scott L. Remember this picture when HAL 9000 is merciless in his beating of David Bowman come playoff time.

Some Statistical Analysis on Randomness of Typing

As it turns out, the distribution is quite variable upon the person typing and his/her dominant hand. I typed the numbers corresponding to the pigskin bars and my assistant (who is left-handed) typed the numbers corresponding to the grass bars. As it turns out, I have a propensity for not striking numbers 2 and 5 (as these occur only 2.0% and 2.4% respectively). My assistant favors the outside numbers. At any rate, this is not the best way to perform this task. I was simply bored. The process is simple, I will construct a string of random numbers 500 digits long (actually using random number generation) and send them to Tyler. I will ask Jason to provide us with a random number between 1 and 500 which he can send to Tyler and me. Tyler will verify see if this digit is even or odd, and I will verify that this is correct. Even is choice 1, Odd is choice 3. Simple. We could do this on gmail chat as well, if people are that interested.

Official Ballot on How to Break Tie

The best way that I can think of to break a tie is with a random flip of a coin. However, if I flip the coin there are problem of witnesses. Therefore there are two possible options here....

1. Digital and 9000 live together. One could flip and one could witness. The problem is they had the same vote....so that may make some uncomfortable with that method, but I would trust them.

2. I will get on gmail chat in the same fashion that we drafted. As many of us are available could get online briefly to watch. I will quickly type numbers ...so fast that where I end up would be very random...like this 35618235761283562103562130598723149832749832648712354892356`-837421653892375283746328462983652835621093586..... option one could be any even number or zero...while option 3 could be any odd #. (This may seem ridiculous but try it for yourself...if you go fast enough...you really have no control on what # you stop)

Official Run-Off Ballot

Official Run-off Ballot
*same rules apply


1. Go strictly by final regular season standings.

3. Go by playoff finishes for the top four and final regular season standings for the bottom four.

Official Ballot

The only good thing I have going for me in fantasy is that I am the current commissioner of the Gentlemens League. This is not something that I was necessarily appointed, nor is it an elected position. I acquired this title simply by setting up the league prior to the 2007 NFL season and inviting my friends to play. In similar fashion, 9000 was the mastermind of the blog idea. He runs this show and I love the blog as it has taken our league to a whole new level of excitement and competitiveness. There is one problem however.....when it comes to league decisions, who is actually responsible for organizing and finalizing decisions . Are Winston, the Admiral and Digital also going to be creating polls for us to vote on important league decisions, polls in which anyone in the entire world could have a say? Are Old, and the good Dr. going into Yahoo tonight and creating a 10 team league and inviting us all tomorrow. And if so, whose league will you join?

In the most Gentle and Manly way that I know how to say this......I will be commissioning until further notice (which means until someone comes to my house and beats my ass). Those of you that know me best understand that the last comment was very typical of my short fused, competitive nature. So be it. But in order to avoid any further unnecessary confusion here is the Official Ballot on Draft Order.

Below is the Official Ballot on Draft Order.
Gentlemen Rules:
-Please vote in the comments section by simply putting the number that corresponds to the decision you want.
-Please only vote once
-Please do not add commentary
-Please do not change your name vote again so that we can avoid confusion.
-If we do not get a majority, the top two vote winners will go on a new ballot.

1. Go strictly by final regular season standings.

2. Go strictly by playoff finishes.

3. Go by playoff finishes for the top four and final regular season standings for the bottom four.

4: Regular season standings for the top four and playoff finishes for the bottom four.

Draft Order Poll

You will notice a new poll on the right side of the blog that asks for votes regarding the draft order. This is to determine how the original eight teams vote, and assuming the expansion teams will vote 9th and 10th in order to be determined at a later point. Please vote soon. Voting closes in 24 hours.

Decisions

Debate is necessary for us to come to reasoned, agreed upon decisions that carry some legitimacy. And, thus far, no deadlines have passed in terms of voting on questions of how to run the league. However, I am fearful that we aren't going to actually come to a conclusion on any of the issues now confronting our game of champions. For instance, I count at least 3 issues that need to be resolved -- draft order, how to incorporate the newcomers into the league, and changes to the scoring system. We've heard from some of you on these issues. Some of you have not made your positions known. The draft order question seems to be relatively straight forward. It can be found within Digital's "One Slight Error" post. As of right now, the vote seems to be split 2-2 on that issue. Concerning the way we incorporate the newcomers into the league, I think we've heard from about 4 of you. That discussion can be found under the Commissioner's "Bleeding Kansas" post. The scoring settings debate can be found in Digital's "League Scoring Details" post. If you don't have an opinion, say so. Otherwise, we'd love to hear from you.

Ricky Williams. At it again.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/22/sports/football/22williams.html

No Respect

It doesn't hurt my feelings that I was left off the pole. There is sure to be some kind of nasty karma for whoever thought it would be a good idea.

But really......Is it completely unthinkable that I could win the league? Am I the guy that all the owners talk about being an idiot, kind of like we did Brandon after round 3 of last year's draft? Brandon did go on to make the playoffs for the second straight year however....but at least I won the consolation bracket. I feel like that should at least earn me enough respect to see my name on the preseason poll.

I'm not hurt....just a little sad, that's all. I mean, I could have voted for myself even if the rest of you didn't think I would have a shot.

I've lobbed one up for you boys....will you throw it down with thunderous attacks on my intelligence and managerial skills....or will you live up to the Gentlemen standard?

Bleeding Kansas

In order for the Gentlemen's Game to live up to its name, we have to find a fair way to settle the disputes that are sure to arise by the expansion of our league. The first and most pressing concern is how to go about setting up the keeper draft with two new teams. I personally do not want to spend the next 6 weeks in a bitter back and forth about the best way to do this. I understand that debate may get heated as we figure out the best way to resolve this matter. However, I don't want the expansion of our fine league to create so much sectional tension that we become divided. Though popular sovereignty was a failed experiment as a way to resolve disputes over slavery in the newly acquired American territories after the Mexican-American war, the only way I know to solve our issues is to have pro-con discussion and put the issue to a vote. The owners collectively will choose our fate.

The problem we must deal with is..... if, when, and how Bebo and Jimmy choose two players that would be deemed their keepers.
If they choose their 2 keepers after we lock in all of our keepers, 4 playoff teams from last year, who would have drafted the 4 best players available after keepers, will no longer get that opportunity because hypothetically the next 4 best players will be on the expansion team rosters. We set up the draft to reward the best performers from from last season, and while the draft order hasn't changed, the players available at those draft slots will change.
In our pre-expansion system Mr. Montana would have received 3 keepers. 2 days ago he was planning on being the only team to be assured 3 keepers.

If Jimmy and Bebo drafted from the 9 and 10 hole without receiving any keepers, each owner would fundamentally have 3 keepers while our expansion teams would be choosing the best available player after the top 24 are off the board. Last year players like Chris Johnson, Steve Slaton, Darren Sproles and Tyler Thigpen went undrafted. (Amazing that Digital ended up with 3 of those) In addition, DeAngelo Williams went in round 17, and Forte went late. These are all prime examples that there is value in the late rounds. However, the top 4 teams from our flagship season drafted first last year. Those teams all made the playoff again, so there is of course value in getting higher picks.(and being good at this)

I am going to now pose a couple of solutions.

1. Expansion owners choose two keepers after last years owners lock in their keepers. Expansion teams draft 9 and 10. Expansion teams lose picks in rounds immediately following the projected draft position of the keepers they chose.

2. Expansion owners choose no keepers. They will draft in the 9 and 10 slots and will make up the two players by choosing in all 17 rounds rather than sitting out rounds like the rest of us.


3. Expansion owners choose 1 keeper after last years owners lock in their 2 keepers. They lose a pick in the round immediately after their keeper was projected and they make up the other player by drafting in all other rounds.

4.Most radical...All owners lose keepers in the round in which they are actually projected. Expansion owners choose no keepers and draft in the 9 and 10 holes.


In the next 24 hours, lets debate, discuss, stir the pot and get all of our opinions out there. Tomorrow around this time, we will put it to a vote. If one option recieves 5 votes...we go with it. If no option receives 5 votes...we will take the two options receiving the most votes and put them back on the ballot. If there is still a tie between those two options .....Civil War!

League Scoring Details for those chaps who are new or need a reminder

Offense
Passing Yards	25 yards per point; 1 points at 250 yards; 3 points at 350 yards; 5 points at 400 yards
Passing Touchdowns	4
Interceptions	-1
Rushing Yards	10 yards per point; 2 points at 100 yards; 3 points at 150 yards; 5 points at 200 yards
Rushing Touchdowns	6
Reception Yards	10 yards per point; 2 points at 100 yards; 3 points at 150 yards; 5 points at 200 yards
Reception Touchdowns	6
Return Touchdowns	6
2-Point Conversions	2
Fumbles Lost	-2
Offensive Fumble Return TD	6
Kickers
Field Goals 0-19 Yards	3
Field Goals 20-29 Yards	3
Field Goals 30-39 Yards	3
Field Goals 40-49 Yards	4
Field Goals 50+ Yards	5
Point After Attempt Made	1
Team Defense
Sack	1
Interception	2
Fumble Recovery	2
Touchdown	6
Safety	2
Block Kick	2
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns	6
Points Allowed 0 points	10
Points Allowed 1-6 points	7
Points Allowed 7-13 points	4
Points Allowed 14-20 points	1
Points Allowed 21-27 points	0
Points Allowed 28-34 points	-1
Points Allowed 35+ points	-4

Draft Date

Unless anyone has made labor day plans...that usually seems to be a pretty flexible weekend for most. As of right now, the draft is set for 11 a.m. central time on Saturday Sept. 5. We will say for now that the Payne plantation in Henderson will be the location, but that can change. I would really like to set the date and time more than anything. I know how much this means to all the owners, so I know you will find a way to be there.

A Message from the Don

Welcome, my esteemed colleagues! This photo was taken by Drew Brees while we were shooting some candids of each other. Hopefully you all notice how much use I’m getting out of my trophy. I’d share it, but then what would motivate you? As most of you all know, Drew Brees and I have each welcomed offspring into the world this summer, and we can't wait to show our new children how to dominate a fantasy football league. I hope you guys have spent the offseason thinking up modifications to the league that may later be referred to as the “Jason Rules.” No worries, gentlemen, I am a true competitor and always welcome a challenge.

I have a suggestion for disclosure of who we are keeping. First, we’ll have to agree on a draft date (no later than September 6th, 2009). Then we’ll have to keep tabs on Yahoo and see when it will be updating its Big Board. We all need to know which Big Board is controlling or else someone will surely get his panties in a knot. We discussed going through a neutral third party to whom each manager would disclose which players, if any, he intends to keep. That setup would be similar to when Tyler had Amy draw names out of a hat and then Ben witnessed via telephone that Tyler got the first pick. As I recall there were no hard feelings about how that played out, but I figured maybe we could set it up such that chance does not play into it quite as much.

I have the privilege of picking first (or whatever it is after we expand). That means that after each manager discloses who he is keeping, I’ll get the first bite at the leftovers. That’s a nice place to be, but to even the field I thought maybe we should disclose who we are keeping in the same order that we’re drafting. I don’t know about timeframes between disclosures or whatever, but I think this way may be the fairest way to do things. For example, that way, if we get down to Ben, and he sees that I kept Brees, Taylor kept Kurt Warner, Tyler kept Brady, and Brandon kept Rivers, then he’ll have a better idea of the likelihood of being able to get Peyton Manning in the first round if he does not keep him. I know this setup will probably end out hurting at least one team that tries to outsmart itself, but that is destined to happen regardless of any system that is employed. Discuss amongst yourselves.

One Slight Error

The draft order was decided last year to be 1-4 go in the order of the regular season finishes and the playoff finish order for spots 4-8. The logic, as you'll see below from snippets of that email thread, was that the top players (those that locked up playoff spots early) had less incentive to throw games. And in this way, the playoffs had more meaning for the consolation bracket players. So the draft order would be as follows:

1. Jason
2. Taylor
3. Scott
4. Brandon
5. Tyler
6. Ben
7. Steve
8. John

Jason:

Considering we apparently didn't really have a system for determining the draft order, shall we submit it to a vote? It will be democratic, and a good way to make sure Steve is still alive. I think there are three main options:

1. Go strictly by final regular season standings.

2. Go strictly by playoff finishes.

3. Go by playoff finishes for the top four and final regular season standings for the bottom four.

WILDCARD: Regular season standings for the top four and playoff finishes for the bottom four.

DOUBLE WILDCARD: John picks the draft order using any technique he deems worthy.

I advise against option 2, as I feel it belittles the regular season, and cheapens our league, but that's not my decision to make. I don't think this subject has the chops to turn into the infamous retroactive keeper league thread of yesteryear, but maybe some of you feel very passionately about this.

Ben:
Hey Jason, if you love Adrian Peterson so much, then why don't you marry him. You make me sick.

Taylor:
We could go by regular season for the top 4, and loser bracket for the bottom four. That way the loser bracket of the playoffs has greater importance. It also stops us from throwing games in the top four because we want to finish towards the top.

Admin Privileges

I granted everyone administrative privileges so feel free to play around with anything regarding the layout and settings of the blog. I sent Jim an invitation, and the permissions page says that Steve has been invited as well. Tyler, make sure you send the evite to Bebo as I don't have his email.

Change is Coming

I spoke with Bebo this evening, he seemed excited about our league and the competitive nature of its owners. He also promised that if he was allowed in, he would go all out. It seems as though we already have a majority who have approved expansion. I have not heard from Steve, Old, or Digital, but 5 of us have agreed to expand. It looks like time for 9000 to invite JWood and Bebo to the Blog.

Why This Could Be A Bad Year For You

I am no longer a law student who puts his work off until Sunday afternoon. I am no longer a student whose bank account is heaviest during the fall season after a summer of full-time employment. As of next week I am an unemployed, broke, twenty-five year old living with his parents in Henderson, Kentucky.

For me, it's the most depressing future I could have imagined. (I had such promise.) For you, it means an already established, gold and silver trophy-winning fantasy football manager has more free time on his hands than he could possibly use to wank off. Scary thought.

The Tequila Mock Draft

The Admiral and I did this mock last Friday evening into Saturday morning. It was a tequila mock....but for what its worth...here you go.

Rd 1
J- Forte
TP- Turner
BC- DeAngelo Williams
SC- Calvin Johnson
BL- M. Barber
TS- S. Jackson
JB- Portis
SW- Cutler
(We assumed everybody liked their players from last year I guess)



Rd 2
SW- No Pick (Jones-Drew Keep)
JB- B. Marshall
TS- F. Gore
BL- No Pick (Fitzgerald Keep)
SC- No Pick (Peterson Keep)
BC- No Pick (Westbrook Keep)
TP- No Pick (Tomlinson Keep)
JS- M. Colston
(The Admiral assumed 9000 would keep LT instead of Turner...yet still draft Turner...I guess)

Rd3
JS- No pick (Brees Keep)
TP- R. Wayne
BC- T. Owens
SC- No pick (C. Johnson Keep)
BL- No pick (Manning Keep)
TS- No pick (Brady Keep)
JB- No pick (B. Jacobs Keep)
SW- No pick (R. Moss Keep)
(Only 2 picks this round...could make for an interesting 3rd)

Rd4
SW- Addai
JB- S. Smith
TS- Jennings
BL- R. White
SC- Rodgers
BC- R. Brown
TP- No Pick (Slaton Keep)
JS- No Pick (A. Johnson Keep)
(R. White fell to the 4th and getting Slaton and Andre Johnson in the 4th is ridiculous)

Rd5
JS- R. Grant
TP- A. Boldin
BC- W. Welker
SC- R. Williams (Dallas)
BL- W. Parker
TS- Bowe
JB- No Pick (Romo Keep)
SW- R. Bush

Rd6
SW- Ochocinco
JB- T. Jones
TS- Housmanzadeh
BL- M. Lynch
SC- Moreno
BC- No Pick (Rivers Keep)
TP- Warner
JS- D. Ward
(9000 and Warner are a nasty combo)

Rd7
JS- Witten
TP- Gates
BC- Pit D
SC- S Holmes
BL- D. Clark
TS- Ten D
JB- A Gonzalez
SW- B. Edwards
(The Admiral started another run on Tight Ends)

Rd8
SW- Bal D
JB- S. Moss
TS- K. Smith
BL- Phili D
SC- P. Thomas
BC- V. Jackson
TP- C. Wells
JS- NYG D
(Digital steals P. Thomas in 8th)

Rd9
JS- L. Evans
TP- B. Berrian
BC- O. Daniels
SC- Cooley
BL- A. Bryant
TS- E. Royal
JB- Chicago D
SW- Olsen
(No was Digital takes Cooley here...and our champ is looking really good!)

Rd10
SW- Leon Washington
JB- McNabb
TS- K Winslow
BL- L. Johnson
SC- Min D
BC- M. Ryan
TP- M. Cassel
JS- F. Jones
(The Admiral takes on the curse)

Rd11
JS- Schaub
TP- Mia D
BC- M. Bush
SC- C. Palmer
BL- L. White
TS- McFadden
JB- Jackson (Phi)
SW- Roethlisburger
(Gross round)

Rd12
SW- L. McClain
JB- J. Lewis
TS- No Pick (J. Stewart Keep)
BL- Brown (Ind)
SC- H. Miller
BC- J. Jones
TP- Sproles
JS- Crabtree
(9000 with the handcuff)

Rd 13
We pass out

Manifest Destiny

Gentlemen....I received a text message from our long lost friend James Carl Wood this morning around 10:30 a.m. Jimmy is interested in getting back into the Gentlemen's Game. If you remember, Jimmy made the playoffs in our flagship season after he and Old made a bogus trade and where Jimmy somehow acquired Randy Moss for a couple of injured studs. Of course, Moss goes off the last season of the game in my head to head with Jimmy and puts him over the top and into the playoffs. We were tied going into that game, for those of you who don't remember, and battling for the last playoff spot.

Since then I have forgiven these two, moved on, and am now seriously considering Jimmy's request. He is a dear friend, and strong competitor. However, I don't think this is one of those decisions that should be made by the Commissioner. I believe this is something all league owners should discuss and vote on. Here are the issues that must be discussed and resolved in order for our league to expand.

1. No one wants buy weeks, so if Jimmy is in we must get one more. Bebo is a logical choice as he is friends with most owners in the league. However, we have to make find a player who is committed and willing to do the work necessary to be competitive.

2. We are a keeper league now...and I love that. It sets us apart from other leagues, creates off-season buzz and has really made this a year round discussion piece. I don't want that to change...ever. With that said, how we expand a keeper league is problematic. We could allow the two new players to pick from our left overs after our keepers are chosen, they lose picks like the rest of us, and draft 9th and 10th. However, that doesn't seem fair to Jason, Taylor, Scott and even Brandon as those guys will lose some great left overs (Jason could even keep 3 of his own). We could also allow them in....give them the first and second overall picks and they don't lose picks in any rounds. However, Jason is still getting slighted in that situation, not to mention there will be a lot less left for us non-play off makers toward the end of the first round and the 4th round which is when the rest most of us will be picking again.

3. If we expand, do we change our positions(keep the flex or go to 3wr), do we create divisions, and do we expand the playoffs to six teams...which would create a buy week in the playoff for division winners.

So owners, we must decide....Is it time to expand into the unknown wilderness of a ten team league and completely alter the culture, nature, and operation of our Gentlemen's Game or do we stick to what we know and keep things the same?

Fantasy Update/Greetings

Good morning to all. I'm glad we've decided to start this fantasy blog...too bad it has taken us to the third year before we decided to do it. Gearing up for the season, I have posted a link to an apparent fantasy football TV show that is in the works. It looks like it will be put forth by some of the guys from Curb Your Enthusiasm, so it has some potential.

I also wanted to see if we were still wanting to try to do this draft in person, and if so, when would we do it. I am planning on coming home for Labor Day weekend so we could do it then even though its cutting it close. I don't see myself coming home before then though...let me know what everyone thinks.

http://cuzoogle.com/2009/07/15/fx-to-make-comedy-about-fantasy-football/

Commissioner Doin Work

Lesbianist....I have a very small chance at winning this league. Partially because I believe I am cursed in all things fake football. I have never made the playoffs. Not in Madden and certainly not in fantasy. Partially because I make all the mistakes that Digital mentioned in his last post. And finally, because I have assembled a league of individuals who for the most part have a perfect combination of intelligence and assholishness. So I have decided on a new goal for this upcoming season, and that is to be the best Fantasy Commissioner ever. I know what you all are thinking.....you already are. At first glance I would agree. Even upon closer inspection, I am pretty much amazing at running a league. However, when one digs really really deep there are faults. Minor faults, but faults nonetheless. How does the Commish get the first overall pick in the first ever Gentlemen's Game? How does Taylor lose a game he should have won because Devin Hester's return didn't count? How does Brandon pick David Garrard in the 3rd round of the 08 draft? The answer of course, poor planning by the Commissioner.

For me to be a perfect commissioner however, we all have to communicate and to vote on matters as they come up. So here are some things we need to talk about...

1. This matter is not really up for a vote because ss I understand it, it was decided in the middle of last season. In our keeper scenario, owners will forfeit draft picks in the rounds immediately after the players they choose to keep are projected by the official Yahoo fantasy rankings.
In a special situation where an owner may be keeping two first round projected players...that person will lose picks in the second and third round. Obviously that allows the champion to keep three players if he chooses. However, he has earned that right by winning the league.
Also, we must all understand that the official yahoo rankings are subject to change as we get closer to the season. We are not going by any one person's bid board. We will be going based on where Yahoo has the player rated as of one week prior to the draft. At that point the rankings will be locked in and players will have until 11:59 that night (one week prior to draft) to submit their two keeper players to a third party email address yet to be determined. This will allow owners to prepare for the draft and trade keepers.
As far as trading keepers....We need to discuss this. I am for off season trades. But we have to decide if they will be done only within the week prior to the draft after each owner has publicly established their keepers or if off season trades should be able to occur soon where all players on the owners final roster from last year are up for negotiation. The latter scenario makes things more interesting, however it will take a lot of blog checking and commenting by all owners in the league.

Finally...Possible Draft dates...Sat Aug 22nd, Sun Aug 23, Sun Aug 30, Sat Sept 5 or Sun Sept 6.
I would love to have a live draft at my house in Hoptown...or at Ray Payne's. Both are centrally located for all but Brandon and Ben. Let us discuss.

Amy just made fun of me for mock drafting.....she thinks its sad that I am playing fake fake football. She is right.

-

Using your heart too much in fantasy

Fantasy football like many things sports related comes down to numbers. Often I feel that fantasy players use their heart too much in choosing players either via the draft or to start from week to week. This can only be trouble. Now, I won't say I am not completely guilt free when it comes to this. For one, I don't care if Phil Rivers is the number one QB in the league...that little bitch will never even warm the bench on my team. Also, I don't like Hines Ward (maybe it's his weird face), but fortunately for me, he is only a very mediocre WR2 at the very best. But if I can't win with those assholes not on my team, then I don't deserve to win.
On the other end of the spectrum, there aren't really any players I love. In my mind, this is even more important to fantasy success. How many times have you started a player in a slump (LT last year, Taylor) and it turned out to be a mistake? Often I feel that nagging in the back of my mind when I am setting my roster for the week, "But I used a such-and-such pick on this guy, how can I sit him?" The ability to respond to this question with, "Because I have a player on my bench who has performed consistently better these past few weeks."- can make or break your season. How many people drafted Chris Johnson or Steve Slaton last year behind such names as Ryan Grant, Larry Johnson, LT, Darren McFadden, and Willie Parker? Yet, anyone can look back on last season and clearly see that either one of these two guys was clearly the safer play from week to week. The ability to recognize this quickly and acting on it can mean the difference between making the playoffs and not making the playoffs. A personal example would be Braylon Edwards last year. Now I had Braylon on my team in '07, and he was absolute money...a TD machine. In '08, save for the first game I didn't play him (against the Giants on MNF) he was a disaster. The ability to say-"He just doesn't have it this year, and until he can put together back-to-back weeks of decent play he will not start for me."-honestly saved my season.
Remember, fantasy is all about the numbers...numbers don't have personalities, numbers don't know anything about the draft, and numbers don't lie.

Where We Stand

While polishing my one gold and one silver fantasy football trophies this afternoon I realized that it was fast approaching the time of year for Jason and me to humiliate our friends every Sunday afternoon and Monday night. I have discussed the upcoming season with several of you and there seem to be a few well-settled ideas and a lot of questions for our league manager and yearly cellar dweller.

Here is what we know at this point:
- We each can keep two players from our final roster at the end of season 2008.
- For each player we keep we will lose a draft pick.
- The round of the sacrificed draft pick will be determined by the Yahoo player rankings. For example, if you keep a player ranked 1st among players, and a player ranked 10th among players that will translate to a 1st and 2nd round talent according to our eight player league. As a result, you will lose a second and third round talent, or the following round pick of the projected round of your keeper player. If one decides to keep two players of equal value, e.g., a player ranked 1st and a player ranked 5th, then that manager will still only sacrifice a second and third round talent.

Upon those known facts, the following assumptions may also apply:
- A manager is not required to keep two players. A manger may keep only one player or no one from his final 2008 roster. This may be an option for several of you.
- Pre-draft trades are allowed pending a league vote.

Now here is what we need to decide:
- When do we have to turn in our list of keeper players? And who is the neutral third party to whom each of us will submit our lists?
- What will be the deadline for updates to the Yahoo player rankings be finalized for purposes of ranking the keeper players?
- How will the draft be conducted this year? There have been whispers about attempting to get everyone together for a live draft. The easiest place would be in Henderson, Owensboro, or Louisville

Myself, and I would assume Jason, are both extremely excited about competing with one another for a new season and I'm looking forward to the opportunity to win another gold trophy. From what I've seen and heard, Scott and Brandon are also eager to compete again for the Bronze. I hope the rest of you can also generate some sort of excitement for another year of consolation games.