The Blockbuster

If any of you have checked your emails lately, you have surely seen the blockbuster trade just agreed to by Steve and myself. (Someone send Tyler a text so he knows about it) Let me tell you all something about an eight player trade: it gets you hard (booooooing!). I'm so turned on right now I can barely type this sentence, or blink for that matter. Although I'm enjoying this high, all I can think about is the next score. I want a three-team trade. I want a two-team trade that involves draft rights for next year. Let me calm down.

In total, eight players will be changing teams. White Death has traded Ray "I hardly knew ya" Rice, Steve Smith (NY), Cadillac "Glass Knees" Williams, and Kevin Walter to Tehom in exchange for Peyton Hillis, Brandon Lloyd, Joseph Addai, and Steve Smith (Car), who will get nicknames, security clearance, and a White Death cheerleader upon passing their physicals.

In parting, let me say this to Ray Rice:

Ray, we love you. You are a great player who did nothing but represent this dynasty franchise with the class, grace, and style of a Jackie Onassis. We were forced to make a decision for the immediacy of this season, and unfortunately you were the cost. It is always difficult to look a person in the eye and tell them you will no longer win a championship this season, but Ray, you will no longer win a championship this season. However, we hope in the future we have the opportunity to work with you again. You will be missed.

-White Death