Naming Names

Gentlemen,

As most of you are aware, I love to compile lists. It's sort of a hobby of mine, and I will frequently be posting useless lists on this blog from here until the day our eldest sons take over our teams. Of course, eldest daughters will work as well. As will youngest sons and daughters. Please, though, no middle children.

Anyway, on to my first list: my favorite team names and least favorite team names from the past couple years. These rankings reflect my personal preferences. Thus, I've taken out my own entries, since I obviously really liked the names or I wouldn't have chosen them. Please feel free to include your own rankings in the comments section.

Top 3 Team Names:

1) Western Front

Luigi used "Western Front" as his team name for the first part of the 2008 season. If memory serves, I believe many league members were in the midst of an especially contentious round of Diplomacy right about the time he revealed his choice of team name. I'm a sucker for political references, and "Western Front" is just vague enough that it made me wonder what made Luigi go with that particular moniker. Additionally, the ominous name combined with the mysterious image he chose as his symbol evoked a sort of militaristic, conspiratorial sensation in my nether region.

2) Blackbeard's Delight

In season one, Winston's "Serenity Now" finished runner-up and made reference to quite possibly the Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen's favorite sitcom -- Seinfeld. In year two, the Captain upped the ante, naming his club "Blackbeard's Delight" in homage to Anchorman, an underrated comedy classic and, in my humble opinion, Will Ferrell's finest performance. Extra points for making the reference to Anchorman so obscure that, embarrassingly, I had to ask the Captain what the name meant. Oh, and double extra bonus points for using Tobias Funke from Arrested Development, in his never-nude blue jean shorts no less, as the team symbol

3) 2.0

The name itself may not be especially ground-breaking, but, put in its proper context, it's pure gold. Michael Chicklis had just started his first year of teaching and was in the process of realizing just how little time he would have for Madden and similar shenanigans. All the while his friends were basking in the glow of indefinite youth. As these realities sunk in, Haystacks became increasingly withdrawn and angry at the world. Leonard and I were the beneficiaries of Mr. Calhoun's troubles, as we enjoyed countless episodes of unintentional humor, culminating in an alleged "Date Night" for the ages. Haystacks named his new persona 2.0, as in version 2.0, and adopted it as his team name shortly thereafter. The lack of imagination that went into this team name corresponds perfectly with the lack of...well, anything, in the Commish's life during that period of time.

The 3 Worst Team Names:

3) Schmo-Hog's

I actually really like this team name. It's catchy, fun to say, and original. But what's up with the apostrophe? Schmo-Hog's what? Schmo-Hog's beige sweater vest? Schmo-Hog's favorite movie? Schmo-Hog's booger wall beside his bed? Schmo-Hog's astronaut suit? I don't understand. And why did no one call HAL9000 out for it? After all, we've called him out for far less.

2) Obamistic

We get it, Luigi, you really like our current President. And you were optimistic about his chances. Perhaps I'm still just sore that he changed to "Obamistic" from "Western Front."

1) Woody's Warriors

Hey Zoomtown, welcome back to the league. But next time, just stay with Team 7. I don't think I can handle Jimmy's Jammers.