Fantasy Football Personalities

I would love to take credit for this information, but here are some personalities of fantasy football players that typically show up in every league. Since the draft is a little over a month away, I figured we can have some fun with these since some of them describe members of our league pretty accurately. Feel free to comment on your choice for each one!

1. The Favorite Team Guy
He drafts only guys from his favorite NFL team....no matter how crappy the team might be. You know, that guy who's a die-hard Lions fan and he's sincerely smiling when he grabs QB Matt Stafford in the third round.

2. The Overachiever
It's not like everyone doesn't bring their list of picks, but this guy has 15 draft guide magazines, a laptop with drafting software, spiral-bound notebooks full of secret scribblings, and a draft guru on the telephone.

3. The Girlfriend
No fantasy football league ever starts with the girlfriend, but two or three seasons into it, it happens. You look over and there she is...your buddy's girlfriend is making picks at your draft. And every single pick she makes is punctuated with the question, "Is he any good?"

4. The Old-Timer
It never fails. Someone invites their dad, or older friend from the office to join in. He randomly yells out "Bradshaw!" or "Staubach!" and asks if Walter Payton is still available.

5. The Confusionist
Past the second round of your draft, he's completely and hopelessly lost. Unable to focus, he has no clue who he's picking or when he's supposed to pick. He's constantly going out of turn. To make matters worse, he's picking guys that have already been picked. By the 5th round he's gone from telling his pick to asking, "Uh, has anybody picked (fill in the blank)?"

6. The Agonist
He's the reason that you instituted a 60-second time limit on draft picks in the first place. He so agonizes over each choice that he's all but frozen after the first round.

7. The No-Show
It happens every year. Something came up: his mom is in the hospital, his girlfriend planned their vacation the same week, he just can't make it. Panicked, he usually asks one of his buddies at the draft to pick for him. And faxes him over some hand-scribbled, illegible notes on a dozen guys "he'd like you to get for him." Then, of course, he spends the rest of the season bitching about the team you drafted for him.

8. The Henpecker
He isn't as bad as the guy who invited his girlfriend, but he's close. He can't make picks because his wife/girlfriend calls him 10 times during the draft. He moans each time the phone rings, but refuses to to turn it off no matter how much you mock him. He's the reason you have to explain, "Honey, please don't call me during the draft."