November 28, 2011

Razor Burn



Taylor, I’m sorry to announce that you have joined John, Brandon, and yours truly amongst the dregs of this league. You will not compete in the playoffs this year. You WILL promise vengeance for this atrocity. You WILL be able to blame many factors (I’m primarily blaming league randomness, absurd injuries, cramps, and mood swings). If you want to utilize other coping mechanisms that I favored over the past week, then I recommend drinking beer, eating ice cream, combining those two things, and listening to a whole lot of Adele. As for those of you who are still in contention for a playoff spot? I wish nothing but the BEEEEESSSST FOR YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU.

Landry Hat? Yeah, that’s Jimmy’s this week. Not that he’s reading this right now, but whatever he is doing, he should be doing it while wearing a very smug expression on his face. He traded Andre Johnson and Jeremy Maclin (who combined for two points this week) and got Beanie Wells and Marshawn Lynch (combined for 57 points this week). Furthermore, he’s beating Scott by enough that he would have won even if he didn’t enjoy this week’s +55 from those two trades.
Written by Captain Winston Montana at 11:08 PM

2 comments:

  1. Digital DoppelgaengerNovember 29, 2011 at 12:42 AM

    I am pleased that I put up a horrible score this week. I would have been really mad if I put up 130 or something and still got beat by Jimmy's ridiculous week. He probably doesn't even know that he won this week.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Digital DoppelgaengerNovember 29, 2011 at 1:00 AM

    I am really enjoying the previous post "A Message to the Top Six" even more now. Glad Taylor put that in writing.

    ReplyDelete

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