Naming Names: Season of Anger

It's that time of year again. The Commissioner has sent out the invites. The league is being populated. Soon, team names will be revealed. I think I speak for all of us when I say this is by far the most important and exciting part of the fantasy season. Just like last year, I'm going to offer my two cents on the best and worst names in our league's storied history.

The Best:

3) Blackbeard's Delight: From Seinfeld to Anchorman to Arrested Development, the Captain is a model of consistency in terms of naming names. While I enjoyed his last entry, The Seaward, Blackbeard's Delight remains the Captain's crowing achievement. (Yes, even more impressive than his 3 trips to the playoffs and championship ring.) While so many of us are hit and miss, we can all look forward to yet another clever moniker from the Captain's repository of obscure sitcom references.

2) Western Front: Luigi took it to the house with this one. For those of you who think this entry is overrated, consider the following: 1) I am admittedly a sucker for political references; 2) the name was chosen while many of the gentlemen that call this league home were engaged in a heated game of Diplomacy; and 3) the mysterious symbol selected by Luigi garners this entry bonus points. Iron Curtain was a worthy sequel, but Western Front remains Luigi's masterpiece.

1) Lord Armstrangler: Where to begin for the aid of the uninitiated? Well, back in undergrad, the Commish and many of the other gentlemen were drafting players onto our NBA Live squads. For some reason, the Commish selected Darrell Armstrong with his first round pick. If you can't see the humor in this fact, well, I just don't know what to tell you. His team name was actually an anagram of "Darrell Armstrong," and it wasn't even one of those stupid anagrams that end up being just a bunch of gibberish strung together. And to top it off, he used a picture of Darrell "Lord Armstrangler" Armstrong as his symbol - a mug shot no less. Wow. Just wow.

The Worst

3) Woody's Warriors: This one is growing on me a bit. I mean "Woody" is at least a nickname for Woodrow. But again, I don't like it. Too much like Jimmy's Jammers or Taylor's Tigers.

2) Obamistic: I hate this name. Maybe part of it is because Luigi abandoned Western Front for this garbage. Regardless, this could end up being my least favorite name of all time by next season.

1) Bengals are Back: Woodrow, I'm sorry. It's just that, well, it's just that this team name is actually a sentence. For some reason, that just doesn't appeal to me. I don't know what to say.

So there you have it. These rankings reflect my opinions and really aren't worth anything. So there. You might really hate my team names. Or maybe you don't care about team names. And maybe if I cared less about team names my teams would actually make the playoffs. Then again, probably not.