Christina Reacts to Week 5

Christina Aguilera was recently interviewed by UPG about the season so far and Week 5 of UPG.
Even though she was equipped with a microphone, at times she never spoke. We were left to interpret her reactions, grunts and almost coherent spoken answers in response to our questions.

Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen: Christina, the NFL season almost didn't happen. How did you feel when you heard labor disputes had been resolved and the lockout would end?
Christina Aguilera:


CA: Wooohhhoaauahahah! Praise NFL, Myra Kraft as the new Jesus, and workers' rights everywhere. I couldn't waaaiiaaiaiaiiauauaguaut for the the season to start. Oh yeah!
UPG: We were all very excited, weren't we.


UPG: What was your reaction to UPG Week 5. Li'l Sebastions got their first win with the most points of the week, the two undefeateds both lost, Eli and AP posted pretty high numbers.
CA:YYYEEEAAAAAAAaaaggghhhh!

UPG: Next question then?

UPG: Tina, Aaron Rodgers has led UPG in points this year. Did you see that one coming?


UPG: TINA! Calm down. We're all fans but we don't need to force ourselves to fellate what I'm sure you are convinced is ARod's man member. We'll just write down, 'you are happy for him'... Oh, he's on your own fantasy team? That reaction makes much more sense.
Did you know that Hal 9K had the same reaction to Rodger's performance in Week 4? He tried to man-on-man-munch all things Aaron since Sunday and he even told us he would take a donator's load on the cheek from Aaron if he ever ran into him at a Derby Party. I would bet $10 you already have, Dirty 'Tina.

CA: ....

UPG: Christina, we don't give out suckers for using the potty. Do we need to stop the interview?
CA: .....

UPG: Ok, I'll take that look of relief to say you've gone ahead and finished, we'll continue. Why does this picture remind me of Haystacks Calhoun?

UPG: We have touched on the winners, lets talk about some of the losers in Week 5. Occam's Razor, Mussolini's Meanies and the Li'l Sebastions all still remain at the bottom of the standings at 1-4. No, please don't start...
CA:WAAAAAAAAahhhhhh ooahauaha

UPG: Yes, It is very upsetting. We all wanted them those teams to do well or at least do better than Scott. Let's pull ourselves together and finish this interview.
CA:WHYYYY??? auhuuoooeeeuahahh

UPG: Yeah, it sucks. We know. I thought we would be at the top of the rankings, but we aren't so we can end this if that is OK with you. Thanks for sitting down with us Christina. We hope you can get yourself together and we all wish you the best of luck in your fantasy league and your attempts to gain weight and be drunk.