September 16, 2011

Can't Wait


Let me make something perfectly clear. Whenever I find a video that cross-references Star Wars and fantasy football, I will post that video on the blog. If you revoke my posting privileges, I will go to computer school, learn to hack through our security, and then post the videos anyway.
Written by Captain Winston Montana at 1:52 PM

5 comments:

  1. Admiral Jameson SaxSeptember 16, 2011 at 2:27 PM

    That's a good video, but I do have some questions about the Star Wars shows. For instance, are there two Darth Vaders, or are we just supposed to think there are two? Is the old man with the wrinkled face the father of one of the Darth Vaders, meaning he is Luke's grandfather (assuming, of course, that the wrinkled face man is the father of the Darth Vader that is Luke's dad)? How does Darth Maul fit in to the whole Darth family tree? Why would Star Wars not focus more on Boba Fett? Also, how about those people in the desert that wore orange capes and gas masks - what's the deal with those guys?

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  2. Captain Winston MontanaSeptember 16, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    1. There is only supposed to be one Darth Vader, but they do use two actors to portray him. That sounds kind of silly, but they did the same thing with De Niro and Brando in the Godfather.

    2. The old, wrinkly-faced man is just what's left of the original (and only) Darth Vader. He is Luke's dad. Luke does not have a grandfather because no man actually impregnated Darth Vader's mom. He was pretty much conceived by the fertility of the force.

    3. Darth Maul doesn't fit into things nearly enough.

    4. Episode II had a considerable tribute to Boba Fett. You should know that. We saw it in theater together. It introduced his "father" who actually just had a complete clone of himself created (Boba) and raised the clone as his son. Also, all stormtroopers are created in Boba Fett's likeness.

    5. The orange-caped guys with the glow-in-the-dark eyes are called Jawas. They were native to Luke's home planet, Tatooine. They really didn't have too big of a role, and mainly made ends meet by collecting broken down droids and machines, refurbishing those products and then selling them for profit. Years later, a Jawa competed on, and finished second in a game of Wheel of Fortune.

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  3. Admiral Jameson SaxSeptember 16, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    2 - Yeah, but there are 2 wrinkle face men - Darth wehn they take his helmet off and the really old guy that gets shocked. After he is shocked, he is even more wrinkly. I think he is Darth Vader's boss. I was asking whether that old guy is Darth's dad and Luke's grandfather. But I guess he's not assuming you are being serious about the Immaculate Conception that gave rise to Vader/Jesus. Were you being serious?

    4 - The clone thing sounds familiar. However, I liked Boba more than any of the Alliance or Deathstar guys, so I am going to try to forget this clone business and the stuff about the storm troopers.

    5 - So they are poor? Are they good or evil?

    Thanks.

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  4. Captain Winston MontanaSeptember 16, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    2. In a way, Darth Vader's boss may have kind of been like the grandfather. He implied that he had the ability to manipulate the force and create life, which would explain Vader's Immaculate Conception. He would have been Vader's dad more like how Geppetto was Pinocchio's dad, though.

    4. I don't blame you. More Boba Fett would have been nice, and his amazingly anticlimactic death just left a bad taste in all of our mouths.

    5. They are like Mexican versions of Jimmy Chris.

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  5. Digital DoppelgaengerSeptember 16, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    That immaculate conception thing is a myth. Shmi Skywalker was a goddamn whore, and everyone knew it.
    As an aside, does anyone else find it just a little too convenient that English seems to be the universal language of the universe?

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