More Pol Pot

A conversation via text with John last night:

Me: I'm in interested in acquiring matt ryan from u.  U give me ryan we swap picks.  Say u get my 10th I get your 12th.  Something like that.  Just a thought but I am considering it and wanted to see what u think.

John: No you aren't considering that.  Is this a litmus test for the kind of trade Ill make

John: For the worst trades possible.

Me: ? Are you keeping matt ryan?

Me: I figured u weren't keeping ryan and that you'd rather move up a couple spots than get nothing for him.

Me: I thought that if u kept a qb it would be stafford.

John: Yeah.  Youre right.  That text is a canned text message i send out when people ask me for trades.  Everyone gets it first.

John: Im hoping someone will admit to trying to pull one over on me.

John: So you passed.  Ill look at that.  Do I have matt ryan?

Pol Pot Doesn't Know Google or Rip Van Winkle

A conversation with John this am:

John:  Piano and Shoeshine?
Me:  Yeah
John:  R.V. Winkle?  Is that a whiskey reference?
Me:  I'm not sure.  I think it's a nursery rhyme reference.
John:  I don't know that one.
Me:  Rip Van Winkle.  He sleeps a lot or something.
John:  Not familiar with it.  Is yours some black on black thing? Extra black.
Me:  It's a short story, not a nursery rhyme.
John:  What is the Choom Gang?
Me:  I don't know.  How about you use Google instead of asking me every question?

Trade Announcement

Notice to all Upstanding Pirate Gentlemen:  Tyler and I have agreed to a trade.  LaDainian Tomlinson will be traded to Tyler for cash considerations.  It is LaDainian's desire to return to where it all started, under Tyler's (let's just agree to call it leader)ship, and announce his retirement.  Yeah, I know, I didn't believe it at first either. 

Daddy, What Are Playoffs?

Because he's on a hell of a roll lately (healthy new born boy, new head basketball coach of one of the top five biggest schools in the state and several of our alma maters), let us all remember how much he deserves it, and hopefully Tyler is savoring every moment of it, because fantasy football is right around the corner.  I watched this video today and thought of Tyler, the fantasy football manager. 

Rankings for Keepers

Here are the current Yahoo! rankings and the corresponding round you will be required to forfeit to keep said player if the rankings remain as they are now. I created a fake league just so I could access this; that's how pathetic I am.

Round 1:
 1   Arian Foster
 2     Ray Rice
 3   LeSean McCoy
 4   Ryan Mathews
 5  Calvin Johnson
 6  Aaron Rodgers
 7 Maurice Jones-Drew
 8  Chris Johnson
 9 Larry Fitzgerald
10    Drew Brees
11 Trent Richardson
12    Tom Brady

Round 2:
13    Cam Newton
14   Jimmy Graham
15 Darren McFadden
16 Matthew Stafford
17  Rob Gronkowski
18 Adrian Peterson
19   Roddy White
20    Matt Forte
21  Marshawn Lynch
22   Victor Cruz
23 Brandon Marshall
24 DeMarco Murray

Round 3:
25  Andre Johnson
26  Greg Jennings
27  Jamaal Charles
28    A.J. Green
29   Mike Wallace
30   Hakeem Nicks
31    Wes Welker
32   Julio Jones
33   Fred Jackson
34   Steve Smith
35   Miles Austin
36   Doug Martin


Round 4:
37  Michael Turner
38 Demaryius Thomas
39  Steven Jackson
40   Jordy Nelson
41  Jeremy Maclin
42  Darren Sproles
43 Marques Colston
44    Dez Bryant
45  Antonio Gates
46   Percy Harvin
47   Kenny Britt
48   Michael Vick

Round 5:
49   Dwayne Bowe
50  Brandon Lloyd
51 Aaron Hernandez
52  Ahmad Bradshaw
53   Reggie Bush
54   Eli Manning
55  Peyton Manning
56    Tony Romo
57    Frank Gore
58   Vernon Davis
59  Philip Rivers
60   Fred Davis

Team Ramrod

Gentlemen,

It has been one hell of a ride. As your reigning UPG Champion, I have just a couple of thoughts that I would like to share that may be helpful to each of you moving forward:

Brotherhood. That’s the difference – I know you guys were wondering. That’s what made Team Ramrod different from all of the other teams out there this year. We trusted each other; we had each other’s backs. Just like Dawson and Downey, our team stood on a wall and said nothing’s going to hurt you tonight, not on my watch.

Brotherhood was in the locker room when the guys would hold a prayer before doing battle each game. It was on the field when each man was his brother’s keeper. It was in that Nevada desert outside of Reno during the bye week when the team buried Tom Brady’s dead hooker. Brotherhood.

Second, I would like to congratulate everyone that was willing to throw their hat in the ring this year. I know you all gave the very best you had. I know that none of you could have possibly done any better than you did this year and I will expect more of the same next year.

None of you should feel bad that a rookie came into your league and owned it from the get-go. Especially those of you who really haven’t made any waves in the previous four years. That is not a reason for you to kill yourselves, it really isn’t. Does it make you less of a man? That isn’t for me to say. Does it mean that you should hire someone else to come in and satisfy your wives/girlfriends because you obviously aren’t up to the task? Again, those are your own demons that you will have to deal with.

My squad eagerly awaits the 2012 season and more of your best efforts. Captain Winston Montana, I hope my UPG performance warrants my inclusion on the Mount Rushmore of Murray. Certainly not ahead of Bill, but definitely ahead of those other three turds.

Thank you all and Tebow Bless.

Draft Order for 2012

1. Steve
2. Jim
3. Scott
4. Kyle
5. Ben L.
6. Everett
7. Taylor
8. Tyler
9. Ben E.
10. Brandon
11. John
12. Jason

We're still going by regular season finish, right? If so, this is the 2012 draft order.