OLD MAN for YOUR COMMISIONER

It is time for a change. Tunisia, Egypt, UPG. The history books will note those as the most influential revolutions in the 21st century. All countries whose citizenry begrudgingly forced to live under the rule of autocratic leaders who are slow to make progressive changes in the law of the land and grant liberties to their people. All countries whose populous spoke up for change and demanded a better life for their brothers and pirates.

This is my announcement for candidacy for commissioner of the UPG.
Why me? Because of this:



I simply look like a league commissioner. Look at it... It is me and a private jet with an overcoat. If ever there were a commissioner it would be a man who travels on private jets and wears black overcoats.

I really don't make any promises to make the league better - I just challenge anyone to produce a photo of themselves looking more commissioner-like than me. Any one else here ever flown on a private jet? Doubt it. You know who has? Commissioner Roger S. Goodell and me.

That is my challenge to you all. A new commissioner must be named and the man who can present himself as the most commissioner-like gets the position. My first choice is this version of myself who takes private jets and limosines to Chicago for an afternoon just because.